Amazon is having a sale on Canon lenses.

Dear Creepy Amazon,

You remembered that I looked at Canon lenses online a few weeks ago.
Then you sent me an email that looked like this:

First, let's deal with the creepiness. I'm sure I gave you permission when I signed up with a prime account to track my searching & send me emails about products. Probably, I could figure out how to stop that. But, I have better things to do with my time... like blog about how creepy you are.

Secondly, let's deal with the email. Certainly with all your creepiness, you know that currently I am a stay at home mom and my husband is a full time graduate student, and therefore, we are living on government loans (at a new whopping low interest rate - thanks, Mr. Obama).  So, I mean, to send me a teaser email about a lens I am pining after that is on sale for eighteen hundred dollars seems, well, just mean.

So, wonderful, creepy, Amazon, please wait to send me such emails until you are either selling that lens for less than $500 OR until you are giving it to me for free for being such a faithful customer OR until my husband invents an amazing data robot that takes over the world.

Thank you kindly,

A loyal customer


[Disclaimer: Do not mistake my calling amazon 'creepy' for me disliking their company. I LOVE Amazon. I order SO MANY THINGS from them. They save me SO many trips to the store. Yay, Amazon. But they are still creepy.]

8 Month Update

Yesterday, our sweet girl turned 8 months old. It felt like a big deal to me. Bigger than 6 months even. I think it's because she's happier than she was at 6 months.  A lot of people say 6 months is magic month. I'd say, for us, it was this 8 month mark.

In month 8...

We moved to from Omaha to Boston.
We are living on our own, just the 3 of us again.
She still takes 3 naps most days & sleeps 11-12 hours without a peep.
She mastered the 'pinch' mechanism for eating solids.
She eats a wider variety of solids - more chunks, less puree. Hallelujah!
We switched over to formula. She only nurses before bed for a little. [More about that another time.]
We borrowed a jumperoo from our neighbor, and Addie L.O.V.E.S it!
We tried out the baby bike seat for the first time.
She has started really liking stuffed animals. She makes 'eye contact' with them & giggles when I make the animal noise, all the while maintaining eye contact with the animal. It's very cute.
She does things she likes repeatedly. For example, if she pushes a button on a toy and it makes a noise, she'll push it over and over.
She pats her hand on a lot of things.
She still puts everything in her mouth.
She's become more patient with long stroller rides (perhaps a result of moving to Cambridge with no car).
She had her first subway ride.
She says 'ba' and 'ma'.  I'd like to think she associates 'ma' with me, but that might be a first-time-mom stretch of the imagination.
She loves to shake this pink ball

& take apart this wooden toy.

She likes to play games with us.  For example, she likes when we say 'How big is Addie?... soo big" and hold up her arms for her. She giggles and giggles.  She also anticipates repeating the game.  So, if I wiggle my fingers above her and then tickle her, and then wiggle my fingers above her again, she'll laugh in anticipation of being tickled. It's so much fun!

She is trying so so hard to crawl, but doesn't have it yet. I am not anxious for her to start moving, except for when I see her trying so hard, I just want her to be able to do it because she wants to so badly!
When she sees the swing, she bounces up and down in my arms and flaps her arms while panting in excitement.

I am amazed at how much she is learning & growing. Month 8 was good. Before I know it, she'll be a year old. Ay ay ay :)

back to the basics: the gospel and grace

In church on Sunday, the pastor began a 3 week mini series in which we will go back to the basics on the gospel, community, and missions.

This week was gospel.

Halfway through the sermon, he said something that made me ask myself the following question:

If I really believe the gospel, what does that mean for my life on a day to day basis. 

The one word answer that came to mind after a few minutes of thought was GRACE.

If I believe the gospel, then grace should dictate my day-to-day living.

Grace is one of those words that gets thrown around, mostly by Christians I suppose, with an assumption that everyone knows what you mean. But, how important to define 'grace' if it is to in fact be the basis by which I lead my life.

Grace: Unmerited favor; giving someone what they do not deserve.

a not-tutorial for a DIY camera insert.

I am not one to generally make decisions quickly. 

Right when I go to decide on something, 6 or 7 "but maybes..." enter my mind and delay the decision.

Sometimes it's a bit ridiculous, like when I'm just choosing what to eat for lunch. I'm working on it.

So, a camera bag. I have a camera & I like to take pictures. [Newsflash, I know.] I was just throwing said camera in my diaper bag, surrounded by burp cloths for protection. As cool as that was, I really wanted to get a camera bag/purse thing.  Oh wait, I already told you about that decision... over a month ago. You see what I mean about the timely manner in which I make decisions? Well, I was about to take the plunge and then I just couldn't do it. The evil chorus of "but maybes" entered my mind. (You'd think I was about to elope.) 

Fast forward to mid August when I saw this purse at a Marshall's.  It was reasonably priced, the perfect size for a camera, a wallet, and a diaper (my 3 must-haves these days).  Plus it's red. So that's fun. 

I had seen a few DIY camera inserts that can be placed in different bags so I decided to grab this bag (i mean, it was calling to me 'Renee - bring me home!!') and try the whole DIY thing. I generally end up buying rather than DIYing, but I do like the idea of a DIY project now and again. Now, sometimes my projects fail. Like this. But once in a while, they work! And this one did! Hooray. 

Don't get too excited - This is not a tutorial. I didn't follow a pattern or actually any method at all.  I skimmed these directions & looked at her pictures. But, the process was not very systematic. And the result? Functional, yes.  Pretty, no. The seams are uneven; and I just sewed each piece shut on the outside rather than slip stitching to hide the seam.  But it works. 

If I was going to give you a tutorial based on the pictures I took (which I am not), here's what I'd have for you. 

1. Step one - get some foam, scissors and fabric. 

2. You will also need a sewing machine.  This project can be done without coffee, but it is not recommended.

3. Place foam in your bag and mark it with a sharpie, then cut it & lay it on some doubled over fabric. [time-saver! that tip was for free.]  Without measuring, just guess how much extra you'll need for seams Precisely measure for seam allowances, and then cut on the doubled over fabric so you have 2 pieces of fabric to create a pillow-case like thing for your foam.  

4. Do some sewing & add some velcro. [no more pictures.]

5. Voila. 

Ahh! Whose feet photo bombed!? Weirdo.

almost 8 months old

we are having so much fun lately. 

she is loving stuffed animals. 

she likes to give them kisses. 

the gospel

my savior
he can move the mountains
my god is mighty to save
mighty to save
forever
author of salvation
he rose and conquered the grave.
[video for that song here]


i never grow tired of that message.
that gospel.
that old sweet story of love, grace, mercy & salvation.
the one where i did not and could not do anything.
the one where Jesus loved me.
the one where God saved me - from my sin, my effort, myself.
He came down to earth.
He offered me a gift.

the gospel is so simple.
so real.
so true.
no religion.
no works.
no effort.
just grace.

it's the only "religion" in the world that's not a religion- not based on one's effort or goodness, but rather based on God's perfect work.
finished & completed for you.
now if that isn't good news, i don't know what is.
don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.
people will tell you any way works.
or they'll tell you it doesn't matter.
but it does.
or they'll tell you their religion is a little bit more right.
but the moment you are required to do anything to make it, all bets are off.
there is only one way.
it is the way of the gospel.

i wonder, do you believe it?

products

Disclaimer: I was clearly not paid to review any of these products.  I think you have to actually make money from a blog & have more than 15 'followers' to get paid to review products. Hmmm, that would be nice though. 

Anyway, these are some recent purchases that I'm really happy with. 

I copied a friend who ordered these & we love them already!  We got them just in time for being in Boston.  To make the most of wake time, it's super convenient to leave right when she wakes up from a nap if we need to go anywhere.  She also eats when she wakes up, so we usually bring one of these and a bottle & she feeds herself in the stroller.  

amazon has them, but I found a better price at diapers.com.

these beautiful rainbow dishes are my new favorite! each pack was $1.99 at ikea! so, I spent $6.00 to get all that. (6 bowls in one pack; 6 plates in another; forks/spoons/knives in another.)

And last but not least for today - a laptop cover. I liked the look better without one, but it seemed safer. The top of my computer already had small splatter markings & I have no idea what from.  this is the one i got. Any products you are liking lately?  Describe and/or link in the comment section below :) 

on motherhood, guilt, and pride

On December 29, 2012, I became a mother.  Little did I know the journey upon which I'd be embarking.  A journey of love, fear, pride, guilt, sanctification, holiness, self-discovery, spouse-discovery, creativity. and on and on.

Rewind.

As I felt that sweet girl fluttering and hiccupping and kicking, I imagined a moment of ecstacy when she'd come out.  I imagined going through labor [um, hindsight 20/20 - I had NO idea what this would be. Moms, you know what I mean] and at the end, this sweet girl would slide out and my heart would be overcome.  And you know what, it was better than I imagined.  It's not that way for everyone, but it was for me.  My labor was hard.  I ended up with an epidural (contrary to my original wish) after several hours stuck in transition with a baby turned inside the wrong way.  The Lord protected her & she was delivered safely (after a few hours of pushing, with vacuum suction because her heart went into decel). And the moment I felt her come out, I waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear that sweet cry.
And then - she screamed.
And I burst into tears. and laughter all at the same time.
She was here
My heart was full.
I heard them talk about the cord & then she was on me. Goopy, covered in who knows what, black kinky hair, smushed face, and crying.  She was blueish-greyish but quickly pinked up.
I experienced a love I had never known. And just like that, I was a mom.

Within those first weeks and months, I felt a roller coaster of unexpected guilt and pride. It's something I can articulate only now. At the time, I didn't realize it was guilt and pride.
Addie had trouble latching and nursing... guilt and failure. I must be a failure. I can't get her to do it. Something is wrong with me.  Ben and our lactation consultant would assure and reassure me - just keep at it, she'll get it, it's not your fault.  Slowly I let go of the responsibility and just kept trying. Eventually she got it.  In settles the pride. I did it.  My kid is amazing.  Yay me.  [Again, I didn't recognize or identify it as pride. I just felt good about myself.]

Then it was sleeping.  She slept 5 hours at night. Yay me.
She slept 7 hours. Yay me. 
She put herself back to sleep after crying during a nap. Yay me. 
I realize now that it sounds ridiculous - to take so much credit for your child's "success" at sleeping.
But perhaps you can look back on your days with a newborn and relate?
And then, she'd have trouble sleeping. And I felt like a failure.  Why can't I get her to nap? What's wrong with me? 

I don't remember when, but Ben and I were talking and being the verbal processor that I am, our conversation led me to this realization: If I take credit for the successes, it only makes sense that I am going to blame myself for the 'failures.' And a life of potential emotional bipolar-ness flashed before my eyes. I mean, we want some more kids. And they're going to get older. And the successes and failures will be bigger. I could only imagine how unsettling it would be to live life always taking credit for their success and beating myself up over their failure. [key word- always. obviously i have lots of responsibility in my role as 'mom.' but that's for another day.] How freeing it would be to learn my lesson now - turn it all over to the Lord.  Casting all my cares upon Him, because He cares for me. (1 Pet 5:7)
When she is sleeping well - hallelujah.
When she's not - Lord, give me strength & help me to give her grace.
When she's happy - thank you, Jesus.
When she's fussy - help me, Lord. Give me wisdom.

I am imperfect. So, I have not perfected this letting go of the guilt and the pride.
But growth starts with knowledge. And after knowledge, the Lord brings wisdom. He shows us what to do with our knowledge.
So, we grow.
And change.

Sanctification.

a kindred spirit.

When we were living in Chicago, I attended a women's retreat where Dee Brestin spoke on her book, The Friendships of Women.  Her comments on praying for godly friendships left an impression on me.  She said they moved around a lot for her husband's job, and as they were leaving for a new home, she would pray for a 'kindred spirit' in the new place they were headed.  [Extra credit if you can name that movie reference.]  She said He always answered the prayer - she had dear dear friends all over the country now.

Fast forward a few months and we're getting ready to move from Chicago to Nebraska with a year of marriage under our belts.
I just finished my first year teaching high school.
I was born and raised in the Chicago suburbs, and by the grace of God, I was leaving several dear friends.  A best friend I'd known since 5th grade, a 'kindred spirit' I co-mentored high school girls with, a few sweet girls from high school.  It was hard.

We moved in to our home in Lincoln the first week in August of 2011.  Just over 2 years ago.  We signed a 2 year lease.  Ben was starting a 5-year phd program in sociology.  [Things change.]  I was opening a piano studio out of our home.

Ben started not long after we moved in & we had one car.  I would often drop him off on campus in the morning & drive over to Holmes Lake- a small lake [pond?] with a path around it- to walk.  I remember feeling sad some mornings about not knowing anybody yet.  But one particular morning sticks out to me.  I was walking. It was unseasonably cool for a midwest morning in late August.  We had visited a church and felt 'blah' about it.  We were going to visit another one the following weekend.  And this particular morning, I noticed all the other people.  Walking in pairs. Or threes.  Walking with babies or dogs.  Talking, laughing, encouraging each other in a workout.  As I walked, silent tears started welling up in my eyes.  In my heart, I told the Lord I was sad.  He knew.  And he brought to mind Dee Brestin's words on praying for a friend.    

And so I prayed.  I prayed for a friend to walk around Holmes lake with so I wouldn't be the only one walking alone.
I prayed for a friend who would speak candidly & allow me to do the same.
I prayed for a friend who would be in a similar season of life as me.
I prayed for a friend who would be fun.
I prayed for a friend who would challenge me to grow in my faith. To step outside my comfort zone.
I prayed for a friend who loved Jesus.
I prayed for one friend - for a kindred spirit.

The next church we visited was Lincoln Berean, and we knew after 1 service, that it could be our home for our time in Lincoln.  They posted their small groups online, so we browsed to find a group of young married couples who met close to where we lived on a night that worked for us.  We emailed & they welcomed our visit.

So, off we went.  There were 5 couples when we arrived and they were chatting with one another, snacking on some dessert.  As they headed into the family room, they told us they weren't sitting with their spouses & asked us to guess who belonged to whom.  I think we got most of them right ;)

Anyway, the night went on and Ben and I were shocked at the openness and grace that filled the room. These people loved God.
These people weren't all from Nebraska [much to my surprise & contrary to my assumptions].
They were interesting.
They were open about their imperfections and spoke the truth in love to one another.
They were funny.
And they were normal.

We left with a peace that joining this small group would be the right thing to do.
The next day, before we had contacted them to say anything about wanting to join, I got an email from one of the gals we had met the night before.  She was the only one with a kiddo & she stayed home full time with him.  She emailed me saying that sometimes she went to Holmes Lake and walked and asked if I'd want to join her sometime.

As I read her email, tears streamed down my face. Happy silent tears this time.
I was so thankful.
I thought to myself - it worked. 
Little did I know what 'kindred spirits' we'd become.

Over the next two years, this gal and I became good friends. Great friends. Perhaps best friends.
She taught me a lot about being a good friend.
She asked good questions.
She remembered what I told her.
She'd let me try out a product she'd recently bought - even if it meant she didn't get to use it for a few days. Or she'd just give me an extra.
She cooked dinner for us weekly for several weeks after I had Addie. Even though she had just had a second baby too.
She answered all manner of new mommy questions at all hours of the day.
She challenged me spiritually.
I didn't have to be too nice. Or fake. I could be myself.
Our husbands became friends. [Anyone who is married knows how much of a blessing this is!]
We ended up being pregnant at the same time.
She was every.single.thing I asked for in prayer.

And she wasn't even the only one! We made many sweet friends in Lincoln.

They still live in Nebraska. We live in Massachusetts. I think we'll be lifelong friends though.
Kindred spirits, if you will.

And so here we are again.
We moved across the country - this time as a family of 3.
We don't know anyone here, but we are prayerful.  On the lookout for who God would have us befriend.

I do long for another dear friend here.  But my perspective is different now.  Less selfish, I suppose. t That sweet friend in Lincoln taught me a lot about being a good friend.  I'm on the lookout for someone I can bless like she blessed me when we had just moved in.  Someone I can invite over for dinner, or watch their kid while they run errands.  A pregnant lady I can cook for.  Or someone I can ask questions to and get to know deeply.  Someone who will become another life long friend.


 

butterscotch blondies

source

I made these for dessert last night.

Holy cow, they were Ah-mazing!!!

You should make them.

You probably have all the ingredients on hand - that is, if you keep butterscotch chips around for emergency butterscotch desserts like I do.

Bonus tip: they are supposed to bake for 30-35 minutes at 350.  Our oven is so hot.  Like, way hot.  Hot enough that this happened to my banana bread the other day.

So I baked them at 225 for 20 minutes.  Haha if your oven is also 100 degrees too hot, that would be the correct timing for you.  It felt like a miracle that I didn't burn them.


Deeeee-lish ;)

Enjoy!

etsy faves

I stumbled upon this etsy shop.

I especially like these items. 

These stickers would be perfect for sending cards! 

source

And these next 2 for Addie's room?  [happy sigh]  Maybe for Christmas! 

source

source

I also like those giant rulers for family growth charts. They're perfect for if you're moving a lot. I asked Ben to make me one, but he said, "Let's just buy it... my time is worth more than that."  LOL we say that a lot :) It's an inside family joke... for another day. 

source

I am seriously considering purchasing one of her changing table covers. So many fun colors to choose from! Which would you pick? 

Do you browse etsy? Link to your favorites in the comment section! 

small space organization

756 sq. ft. 

I think that is how big our apartment is :) Actually, I love it. It's cozy. It feels bigger than that number. It's really the perfect size for us and it's all the space we need.  Plus, it forced us to purge.  Which I also love. More on that another day. 

I am an organization nut. If you know me at all, that is not news to you. When I see a pile, the desire to neaten, straighten, and find a home for all the things in the pile literally makes something inside me churn. It is seriously hard to articulate how clutter makes me feel. Don't get me wrong. This does not mean my house looks awesomely clean all the time. [Check here for proof.] Nor does it mean I judge you if you have clutter. It really just means I like organizing stuff. A (similarly organizing-loving) friend and I were talking about moving and how much we like unpacking. She said she likes finding a new home for each little thing. That sums it up to a T.  

In my opinion, good organization is easy-ish to maintain and practical. 

If it's pretty too, awesome.  But, usually pretty organizing takes money & time... we have decided not to spend money on pretty organizing right now.  Maybe someday my house will look like this.  Today is not that day.  And as far as time goes, well, we're only going to live here for 10 months. Probably. Not to mention it's 75 and sunny most days right now, so I'd rather be exploring Boston than making my bathroom organization look nice.  Check back in come January... I hear we get a lot of snow in Boston? Maybe my organizing systems will become a work of art this winter.

Anyway, here we go.   [Photo quality disclaimer- iPhone, bad lighting, enough said.] 

My fave organizing tool in a small space? hooks, hooks, hooks.  Hooks utilize wall space, which is your best organizing friend if you have a small space to work with. 

stepstool hook on the side of the fridge makes for easy access to high-up kitchen storage

over the door hooks = no holes in the door AND convenient place for diaper bags (and extension cords, i guess?)

adhesive command hook in the front closet holds our urban grocery cart (scored on clearance for $9.99 at ikea!)

i spy 2 uses of hooks. pretty world market measuring spoons & mugs.

mugs close-up.  the apartment actually came with these mounted under the cabinet which was perfect!

a key hook (target) right by the door is the only way we've been able to keep track of keys. and still we find them in pockets, purses, carseats, etc.

over the door hanger on the closet for bags; small command hooks for necklaces. (i copied my MIL on that one)

So, what did we learn today? Hooks are your friend. They meet the two qualifications: practical, easy. Anyone can throw anything on a hook :)

How do you organize?

arriving to cambridge

Ben arrived with his dad a day earlier than Addie and me.  So, he sent me pictures (which I did not at all beg for...sarcasm) so I could see everything!! 

a little swingset and baby play area right outside our apartment. 

mailbox

1635!!! holy cow that's old! 

saying goodbye to papa in the airport was sad :( 

for the relatives & friends who want to see our place, here it goes. a couple years ago, i might have been embarrassed to put up pics of my home in such disarray, but you know what? it's life. maybe i've grown a little. 

this is the view from near the front door. 

addie was really helpful in unpacking.

absolutely necessary for the morning after we arrived. my mom actually had bought us a few essential groceries - milk, coffee, cream, cereal.  but after 10 minutes of looking through kitchen boxes for all the pieces of my coffee maker, i gave up and we walked to a local coffee shop. 

grandad taking a break from slave work helping to play with Addie.

another view of the living area from the other side.  "balcony" door on the right. 

installing those awesome shelves was no small feat.  i am SO thankful to my dad and ben for those.  my dad said they'll probably never come down; not sure how the apartment complex management will feel about that? I think we've done all future tenants a favor considering there are 5 cabinets in the kitchen.  on the other hand, we might have to escape and change our names when we move out so they don't hunt us down.  

also, i spy a tiny red high chair! 

the rest of the kitchen. 

nursery/ storage/ playroom

our bedroom/ office