Friday, January 31, 2014

22 weeks.

I am 22 weeks pregnant.
source
According to the little weekly email I get about this little one, she now weighs approximately 1 pound and is 11 inches long... the size of a squash. Oh, and, she has eyelids. and eyebrows.
Back at 12 weeks, though only 2 inches long, her reflexes developed.
At 13 weeks, she had finger prints.
At 14 weeks, she learned to squint, frown, grimace, pee, and suck her thumb. That was a big week :)

And now, here we are. 22 weeks down, 18 to go. (Give or take a little.)

In 9 states, it is still (at 22 weeks) legal for me to obtain an abortion because their limit is based on a later week than 22. (In some, it is legal until 24 weeks and in others, it is legal until the 3rd trimester begins at 28 weeks.)

In 22 other states, it is also legal for me to have an abortion at this point in my pregnancy because their limit is based on the viability of the baby, when she could survive on her own if born, which is generally considered to be somewhere between 23 and 24 weeks. (The earliest premie baby to survive was born at 21 weeks and 5 days. She spent 5 months in neonatal care, and went home completely healthy, a "medical miracle," according to the doctor.)

This is my baby at 20 weeks.
ankles crossed, like a lady :)

I heard something about abortion that really moved me this weekend.
It churns my stomach & brings me to tears to research and write about it, but it's necessary. My perspective on the level of importance of this issue has changed. I will likely be writing more about it in the future. But for now, I think one question is all I want to ask.

Is that baby pictured above a human?
Don't let people fool you into thinking that question is complicated.
It's a yes or no question.
Some yes or no questions are complicated.
This one is not.

Is that baby a human?

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Easy Weeknight Chicken

Sometimes, you just don't want to start dinner until 5:00. This is for those nights. I usually serve it with rice and a steamed veggie or salad. The extra sauce is so good over rice. 

Chicken in White Wine Sauce

Ingredients
2 Tb. Flour
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp paprika
¼ tsp black pepper
4 (4oz) bonless skinless chicken breasts
1 TB. Olive oil
½ cup chicken broth
½ cup dry white wine
parmesan cheese 

Directions
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine first 4 ingredients in a shallow dish.
Dredge chicken in flour mixture.
Heat oil in an ovenproof skillet over medium heat.
Add chicken; cook 2 minutes on each side, until browned.
Add broth and wine. (The other day i made this and was out of chicken broth, so i just added a little skim milk to the sauce. It was great!) 
Bring to boil; remove from heat.
Cover, and bake at 350 for 10-20 minutes, or until chicken is done.  (I sprinkle with parmesan before and after baking. But, I really like parmesan. Also, I usually slice chicken breasts in half so that they are quite thin. If you do that, they are yummy, but easily overcooked. So, start checking after 5 minutes in the oven!)
Sprinkle with more cheese!


And voila! Easy, yummy, healthy, cheap, fast. What more could you want?! 

Monday, January 27, 2014

life change

My dad's brother, Uncle Jeff, is very close to my family.
For many years, we have prayed for him to know Jesus.
More could be said, but for now, here is a glimpse into his story.
life.changed.



Thursday, January 23, 2014

crankster or thankster

After an errand marathon with my 1 year old, I put her down for a nap and headed back out into the cold to bring up the goods from the car. As I headed back up the 3 flights of stairs to our home-sweet-home, I was tempted to grumble inside. But then something came to mind and stopped me.

Crankster or Thankster.

In a book I'm currently reading, Loving the Little Years, the author says her family often plays this game in the car. Cranksters are people who complain about what they don't have. Thanksters are people who give thanks for what they do have. They make a game out of it and try to come up with tons of things to be thankful for. She says, in short, gratitude is the antidote for crabbiness. Now, perhaps this game is geared towards when the small children in my not-too-far-away-future are grumbling in the back seat. But, it was oh so very relevant to me today. I remember the pastor at the church I grew up in preaching on thankfulness; he said "gratitude is the attitude that sets the altitude for living," and that phrase just stuck in my head.
So I started playing the game. with myself. (Hey, that's one guaranteed way to win, right?)
I am thankful to have a car here - because I can walk downstairs at my convenience and unload the car, rather than trying to figure out what to do with Addie while I unload the borrowed Zipcar. 

Once I had that thought, the things to be thankful for honestly came flooding into my mind. And I felt so compelled to write some of them down, lest I forget and am tempted to grumble in the future.

While back in Omaha, I bumped into another car at a red light. I was so thankful no one was hurt and that her car was 100% A-ok. Meanwhile, I had bumped the headlight casing and bumper on mine. We took it to an auto body shop recommended to us, and he came back with an estimate WAY lower than what we expected. We knew he was cutting us a deal. Well, when we sent someone to pick it up, the auto body shop owner didn't charge us. He just wanted to take care of it for free. Talk about a miraculous car provision! Meanwhile, before that incident, we had budgeted a semi-hefty amount to get whatever done on the car needed to be done to safely drive it out Cambridge and still have it last us the next few years. We took it to a highly recommended mechanic, who came back and said it looks great. We paid $65 for an inspection and oil change. Let's just say that's about $935 less than we were planning on. Awesome! So, when I say I'm thankful for a car... it's more like I'M THANKFUL FOR A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) 

I'm thankful for the maternity coat a friend lent me so that I could zip my coat on the aforementioned errand marathon today. Plus, it's cute!

I'm thankful for the heavy duty water proof boots both my husband and I were recently given as gifts. My feet are so warm and dry.

I'm thankful for the winter coat given to my daughter as a gift.

I'm thankful for a neighbor who grabbed 30 days worth of mail for us while we were gone!

I'm thankful for friends in Cambridge. Friendships here are a bigger answer to prayer than most people know.

I'm thankful for old friends we reconnected with over break.

I'm thankful for new baby healthily growing in me.

I'm thankful for family, who let us stay with them (and fed us and babysat and let us do laundry and and and.......)  For a LONG time.

I'm thankful we found an apartment to move into in Omaha.

I'm thankful my husband is so hard-working.

I'm thankful for our maternity care being paid for. (We belong to this organization.)

I'm thankful that Addie took a super long nap this morning! (And all the momma's said AMEN.)

I'm thankful we found an affordable gym with childcare to join. Staying healthy and sane this pregnancy.

Seriously, I could go on and on and on.
And poof. The game worked. Any temptation to grumble is gone.

Next time you wanna be a crankster, try being a thankster instead :)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Banana Coffee Cake with Cinnamon Chocolate Chip Streusel


If neither the title nor the picture has you drooling yet, you will be once this is done baking. A friend made it for me the other day, and I couldn't.stop.eating.it. Consider yourself warned. Here's a link to the original post  from MSPI Mama - I just copied and pasted from her website with my additions in pink.

Ingredients
1 cup MSPI-friendly chocolate chips (I used regular.) 
⅔ cup (packed) brown sugar
½ cup chopped walnuts, optional (I omitted.)
1 tbsp. ground cinnamon
1½ cups flour
¾ tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt
¾ cup sugar
½ cup canola oil (I subbed veg oil.) 
1 large egg
1⅓ cups mashed very ripe bananas (about 3 large)
3 tbsp. rice milk (I used regular milk.) 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour an 8-inch square metal baking pan or an 8-inch round spring form pan. (I think mine was 9 inch square and it was fine.) Stir chocolate chips, brown sugar, walnuts, and cinnamon in small bowl until well blended; set streusel aside.

Sift all purpose flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat sugar, oil and egg in a large bowl until fluffy. Beat in mashed bananas and rice milk. Add dry ingredients and blend well.

Spread half of batter (about 2 cups) in prepared baking pan. Sprinkle with half of streusel. Repeat with remaining batter and streusel. Bake coffee cake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 45 minutes. (I checked mine after 32 min and it was already dry all the way through. Next time I think I'll check it after 25 and probably end up cooking it somewhere between 25 and 30. Maybe my oven is very hot, but I would say don't cook for 45 minutes unless you like extra dry coffee cake.) 
Cool coffee cake in pan on rack before serving.

And then, try to limit yourself from eating the ENTIRE pan. Happy Wednesday! 



Tuesday, January 21, 2014

the light in my soul

after 5 1/2 weeks, 3 plane rides, 2 Christmases, and a 3-day-road-trip-that-included-8-states...
we are home.
and it feels good.

more on that another time.

I read this in Proverbs 20 today, verse 27.
"The spirit of the man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all his innermost parts."

The image that came to mind was someone holding a flashlight up to my soul. searching. looking. inspecting. a flashlight, or any light for that matter, reveals what's really there. As a kid falling asleep in the dark, I was very scared of bugs. [Hey, for some kids it's monsters. For me, it was bugs. Giant gross scary ones.] To me, it looked like there were bugs all over my wall. But when I turned on the lights, it was clear to me that my walls were plain yellow. No bugs. So I slept with the lights on.

My spirit IS the lamp of the Lord, and he is searching all my innermost parts.
In this time of my life, that is comforting.
My hormones (and consequentially, emotions) are up and down, and some things about our circumstances for the future are unknown. Sometimes, it seems like I can't even pinpoint exactly what I'm thinking or feeling deep down inside.

But, the Lord knows.
He sees.
And better yet, he understands.
My spirit is His lamp.



Friday, January 17, 2014

the early mornings

I’ve been up between 4:30 and 5 the last several days.
Whew, that's early. This early-waking has happened a few times during both pregnancies. But, I guess the plus side is, it gives me a good chunk of quiet time. Perhaps the Lord knows that’s just what I’ve needed these past days. I am loving all the time with family and friends – connecting, laughing, sharing. But my soul still craves the quiet and serene. Those moments when I can hear the Lord whisper to my heart exactly what I need to keep my cup overflowing.
Overflowing, not just barely full.
That is my goal for these next few months. To rely on the Lord so that we make it to the end of this semester thriving rather than surviving. Sometimes, there are seasons of survival. And I get that. But I’m not going to be in one right now. Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – including, be content and “overflowing” through this next mini season. Aka: the home stretch of Ben’s graduate school and living in Cambridge.
So, what will that look like? Supporting Ben’s work, both with my attitude and my actions, even if it means long days. Putting the needs of my family before my own. Investing in the friendships that have formed in Cambridge. Daily time in the Word. Prayer. And lots of grace.  Eyes focused – straight ahead on “the founder and perfecter of our faith.”
And he gives grace upon grace.
And then, spring will give way to summer, which will coincidentally give way to a new season for our family. But… one thing at a time.

Moving on.
One reason I don’t drift back off into deep slumber during those wee morning hours is all that’s on my mind. I wake up awake. No time to sleep- too much to think about. Kind of like when you were a kid and you woke up early on Christmas morning. All you could think about was what your presents might be. It was too hard to sleep. Or, maybe, if you are experiencing anxiety, it is easy to have similar sleep habits. Lay awake, thinking thinking thinking.
Well, I’m not a kid on Christmas morning. And I’m not anxious.
But I am thinking. So much to think about!
I think a lot about who this new little baby is. Gender, personality, likes & dislikes, sibling interactions, sleeping habits, arrival date.
I think about the next season – moving back near family, where will we live, how much will it cost, how much will we save, what will Ben’s company be like, who will we be friends with, where will we go to church, how much will we see Chicago family and friends, will I teach piano lessons, who will be my students, where will they come from.
I think about our goals for 2014.
I think about relationships. With my husband, with my family, with close friends, with friends that used to be close.
I think about my daughter. Molding and shaping her little heart to obey, love God, and love others. Learning to walk and talk. Curiously exploring her little world.
And on and on.
I’ll not bore you with the rest.
But needless to say, I’m awake now. The first day this 4:30-am-wake-up-and-can’t-get-back-to-sleep happened, I lay in bed thinking about everything.
The second day, I got out of bed 15 minutes sooner, came downstairs to make a cup of coffee, and opened my Bible in front of the fireplace. Much better than lying in bed with my own thoughts.   
And so, each day, I get up a little sooner. If I wake up and feel awake, I come downstairs, grab a cup of coffee, and open the Word.  And let it stir up my heart. Somehow it gives me more energy than going back to sleep.

And then, I write. Because it helps me to process and remember and articulate. So, good morning to you and yours. And now my baby almost-toddling-one-year-old is up crying. Too early… she takes after her mother I suppose.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

2013 letter

If you know me well, you know I love to receive and send snail mail. Stamps, return address labels, hand written notes, the whole sha-bang! So way back in November, my sister-in-law took some pictures, and I got our Christmas cards made and ready to go. But... never printed and sent them. So come December 30th ish, I wrote a Christmas New Year's letter. A friend of mine had sent their Christmas letter and picture via email and that made sense for us to do this year. So that was the plan.

Well, now, it's January 9. And, clearly, you have not received an email. It ended up turning into more of a brief reflection on 2013 rather than your typical Christmas letter. But, I did write it & I still wanted to share it. Before 2014 is halfway over. So here it goes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Loved Ones,

As I think back on 2013, the word that comes to mind is transition. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Call them what you may – chapters, pages, seasons – life is full of them. Seasons are good. I mean, thank the good Lord we are not constantly in the same exact phase of life for our entire earthly existence.

Think about seasons with me for a minute. We can be in different types of seasons at different times.
Sometimes, our seasons change circumstantially: a new job, spouse, or location.
Sometimes, our seasons change emotionally: experiencing grief, joy, or frustration.
Sometimes, our seasons change spiritually: maybe you are searching, or feeling at peace, or understanding things in a new way.

All that to say, though lots of things have changed for us in the past year, the word that sums up the seasons of 2013 for us is transition.

On Dec 29, 2012, we transitioned into parenthood with the birth of our sweet Adelyn Joy. Even the first year of her life has been full of smaller transitions. Newborn to 3 months to solid food and sitting to crawling and babbling, and now almost walking.

In March, I transitioned to being a working mom and I finished up the school year as a music teacher in Lincoln Public Schools. 

We spent the summer living with Ben’s parents, traveling, and preparing for a cross-country move. In August, we headed to Cambridge, MA where Ben started a new grad program, we got acquainted with a new city, and I began to glimpse what stay-at-home-mommyhood is like. Oh, and we got pregnant.  new friends. new grad school. new neighbors. new city. new baby. and on and on.

Transition. 

And, here we are just starting to feel settled in Cambridge, and we’re already planning a move back to Nebraska – including a new job for Ben and another baby on the way.

Although I long for a season of “settled” to be ahead for us, the Lord has continually reminded me of his goodness and steadfastness even when everything else seems to be in transition. We are where He wants us to be. We can choose joy and contentment. He is growing and shaping us for things that are to come. He is faithful. Always. And, at the end of the day, this life is about His glory being proclaimed and His name being made known.

So, here we are. Saying goodbye to 2013 and hello to another year. And while we are still in the middle of… you guessed it… transition, I am more thankful than ever that our God is Jesus Christ, the same, yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

May you know Him and experience His presence more than ever in 2014.

With love,

Ben, Renee, Adelyn and Baby Cook #2