i can't prove i'm not a robot

does anyone else ever fail these "prove you're not a robot" tests? or is it just me?

that particular one isn't too difficult, but you should have seen the one before it! 

How I told my husband about baby #2.

If you've been pregnant, you've probably been asked some version of the question, "were you planning on it?"

We could talk about why this is a funny question for a while, but instead, I'll just share a video clip that may give you our answer to that question.

It helps to know that Addie is wearing this shirt in the video :)

The details.
We had friends in town over the weekend of September 28. On Sunday night, we went out for a big seafood dinner. I felt suddenly nauseous later that evening and one of our friends joked, "maybe you're pregnant." Ben didn't even catch it, but I thought hmmmm I am a couple days late. 
So the next morning, I took the one pregnancy test we happened to have around, and sure enough 2 little lines. Clear as day.

Well, since I hadn't told him I was taking it and it turned out positive, I started to think about how I should tell him.
Option 1: Pretend I hadn't taken one yet and tell him that night I think I should take one in the morning because I'm a few days late. Clearly I ruled this out because 1.) It's lying 2.) I would have NEVER been able to keep a secret like that for 24 hours.
Option 2: Casually bring it up at dinner.
Me: "so I realized this morning I was a couple days late."
ben: "oh. should you take a pregnancy test?"
me: "well actually I already did" [beaming with a huge smile.]
Ben: "and....?"
me: "I'm pregnant."
Option 3: Something fun and cute and surprising.

Back up a couple years.
We had had a discussion when we were 'trying' with Addie about how he wanted to know when I was late and when I was taking a test as opposed to being totally surprised with little booties on his plate at dinner like all the cute stuff you see on the internet.
But this time around, I didn't really expect this one to turn out positive, and I took it after he left for school... and we hadn't been 'trying,' so I didn't want to text him in class with "hey, I'm a couple days late, gonna take a preggo test."
Dilemma.
Anyway, I had already taken it and it was already positive.
So, fun surprise option #3 it was.

I'll probably not announce it this way for future babies, as it took him at least 24 hours to recover from the extreme level of surprise.

But there it is folks.


Disclaimer: I'm not even sure if this is worth writing, but just in case... please know, I have dear dear friends who have struggled with getting pregnant for months or years. I do not take lightly their pain or the fact that I've seen the hurt on their faces when they've been 'trying' and you haven't and somehow we're the ones who end up pregnant. I hesitate to even use the word 'trying.' But at the same time, it's part of our story and it would be false to pretend otherwise. And for whatever reason, our gracious God has entrusted us with another little one and we are so thankful and giving Him alone the praise for this blessing. Meanwhile, it reminds me often to pray for my sweet friends who ache for a baby. If this is you, I'm reminded of the verse Psalm 30:5 which says, "weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning."  

tomato soup & grilled cheese

This has been my go to lunch for a couple weeks now. Not every day... but almost.

It's so so good.
I know it's a staple and probably doesn't need any instructions, but here's how we do grilled cheese and tomato soup around here.

Tomato Soup
Melt 1 Tbsp butter in sauce pan on stove. Whisk in 1 Tb. flour. Slowly stir in 1 C. of milk. Heat through on medium-low. Add a regular sized (14.5 oz) can of tomato sauce. Season with basil and pepper & stir until heated through.

This makes 2 generous servings. I'll either have it 2 days in a row or share with a friend who's over for lunch. If we're having it for dinner, I'll sometimes double everything so I can use it for lunch the next day. It's so easy and delicious.

Grilled Cheese
For the grilled cheese, I like to use whole wheat sour dough bread. Ciabatta or a french loaf would be yummy too. I get it near the bakery and produce area of the grocery store rather than the bread aisle. I don't need fancy bread, but it is so much better :)
(Addie gets her grilled cheese on not-fancy store brand bread.) And if I'm feeling sassy, I'll throw some turkey on. Deeee-lish.

Anyone else have a tasty variety to share? Enjoy! :)

13 Weeks & Anticipation

Oh pregnancy. 

The first thing people seem to ask when you tell them you're pregnant (after they mentally calculate how far apart our kids are going to be... I'll save you the calculation.... 17 months), is "how are you feeling?" 

I was feeling gross. 

Tired, unmotivated, nauseous. 

I ate a lot of apples, cheese & crackers, and pizza. And deli sandwiches. 

Standing in a grocery store made me want to vomit. So.many.smells.

But then, week 10 or 11 hit. And one morning, I woke singing the Hallelujah chorus as I realized I didn't need my dear husband to bring me toast in bed. (Through those nauseous first trimester days, I have to eat something before my head lifts from the pillow to avoid puking :)... anyone else out there do this?!?!)  That I could get up all by myself, go to the kitchen, and have a cup of coffee and some cereal. That was a glorious day. 

Slowly but surely, I remembered how to get dressed and leave the house and make real food for dinner. Phew.

So, here we are. 13 weeks now, and so thankful to be feeling more normal. I've started to feel teeny tiny bubbles in my tummy... I think New Baby is pretty busy in there. I remember the first time I felt Addie. I had been waiting and waiting and waiting. A friend had told me it felt like little bubbles, not like kicking. I think it was somewhere around 20 weeks or so. But now that I know what I'm looking for, I think I can feel it quite a bit earlier. 

Tiny movements. 

Tiny precious life. 

Did you know most of the baby's critical development has already taken place? Organs, tissues, skin, fingernails, reflexes, eyelids, eye color, tooth buds, bones, fingerprints. 

Fingerprints!! This little one already has fingerprints. 

There's something about your second pregnancy that is more amazing than the first. 

With the first, everything is new. And that is fun in its own way. So much anticipation and wonder. 

But, with the second, it's like - you have a glimpse of what's coming; you have a memory of the first moment of meeting your sweet child; the known replaces the unknown; excitement replaces fear. 

And in a way, it is so much more fun to be pregnant the second time. 

Because you can imagine more clearly what's to come. 

At the same time, I have no idea what's to come. Or rather, who. 

Who this wonderful baby will be. 

What s/he will be like? 

What will his/her personality be? 

What will s/he like? Dislike? 

And so, just like the first, I am still filled with anticipation and wonder. 

I used to think it was over blown that people called it a miracle. Because it happened all the time. So, how could it be a miracle. 

But, I think I was wrong. 

Sure, people have babies all the time. But, just 13 weeks ago, this person didn't exist. Then there was 1 cell. And now there is a 3-inch sized human with fingerprints. And in less than 7 months, that little life will take its first breath of air and I will again be overcome. 

"You knit me together in my mother's womb... fearfully and wonderfully made." 

Baby Update

Well, it's been announced. 

It's facebook official, y'all.

Baby #2 coming sometime around June 6. My sister-in-law happens to be a due a day before me (what are the odds of THAT!?!?!) So we announced with this picture. 

If you don't recognize Addie, you must be new around here, because I only post a gazillion pictures of her in every post. My sweet niece Lanie is on the right. These two girlies are 5 1/2 months apart. It's been so fun to have the cousins so close in age, and to share in this parenting journey with our siblings who are more like dear friends. 

This was the photo I sent to my side of the family who doesn't know my sister-in-law. 

More pregnancy details to come, but for now I just wanted to say - it's good to be writing again & it's fun to have our big (or rather, little) news out in the open!

p.s. just for fun, here's the first post I wrote about sweet Addie girl... before we knew she was a she. 

I wonder if you'd give it a chance...

I recently heard a phrase I can't get out of my head...

"Just give the Bible a chance."

It's so interesting to me how so many people who have never opened one criticize it.
Of course, many people have had devastating run-ins with Christians, and make their assumptions about Christianity and/or Jesus and/ or the Christian God and/ or His Word based off those negative run-ins.
To those of you who, in one way or another may fall in that category... I am so sorry.
I'm sorry for your experience.
I'm sorry for your hurt.
I'm sorry for the pain someone might have caused you.

BUT... I still implore you.

Just give the Bible a chance.

Maybe you would see a God who loves more perfectly than any imperfect human... Christian or not.
Maybe you would see that people who truly understand their identity as Christians would not claim to be perfect, or even close, but rather just as broken as the next person... in need of help.
In need of Love.
And hopefully, people who are learning to receive, and give, grace more freely.

Maybe not. Maybe you wouldn't see any of that in the Bible.
But I just wonder... what would happen if you gave it a chance?

If you are a skeptic, then perhaps you would read it and find out that in fact, all your criticisms, whatever they may be, are solid and true.
If you have no opinion on the matter, maybe reading it would spark one in you.
If you've read it before, but it's been a while, maybe something fresh and exciting would appear.

But you'll never know, unless you give it a chance.

Oh, and might I recommend... start in the gospels- Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Get a feel for the Jesus that people talk about so much. Or you might read the entire New Testament. It's actually pretty short. Or maybe you're feeling crazy and you're going to read the whole thing. Cover to cover. They say it takes 77.5 hours... which actually was shorter than I expected.

[Side note - there are a lot of translations of the Bible. Many are similar, and we don't need to get into details now, but I find the New International Version (NIV) or the New Living Translation (NLT) the easiest for a first read-through. Also, I have fallen in love with the Jesus Storybook Bible. Plus, it has pictures :)]

Whatever your choice... give it a chance.
And then I'll of course be curious to know your reaction.

Last thing. If you don't have one, and don't feel like reading it online (I much prefer turning the pages of any book to reading on a screen), I'd be happy to get one for you. If you were to send me an email or private message on facebook, I'd mail you a new one :)

So... will you give it a chance?

On waiting.

I was having difficulty paying attention in church last week. My mind was distracted by waiting.
We're waiting on some things.
Have you ever been waiting on anything?
Well, the Bible has a lot to say about it as it turns out.
As my mind wandered during the service, this kept coming to mind:
Wait for the Lord. Wait for the Lord. 
I knew I had read that in the Bible somewhere, but I find it helpful to actually see it again, to reread it and set my mind on it, to mark it and write it down.
So, I just started in Psalm 1 and browsed for the word 'wait.'
As I browsed, other verses popped out to me too, so I thought I'd share several that spoke to me on Sunday.

Psalm 16:8 I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Psalm 18:6 In my distress, I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.
Psalm 20:4-5 May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! ... May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.
Psalm 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.
Psalm 33:20 Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord continually at all time; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 38:15 But for you, O Lord, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 130: 5-6 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.

Meditating on those verses, seeing it over and over - the call to wait - it encouraged me.
It strengthened me.
And I wanted to share, in case you're waiting too...
be still.
wait patiently.
take courage.
wait on the Lord.
hope in the Lord.
Believe that you WILL SEE the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
It is coming.
Keep waiting.
Don't give up.
:)

So I dreamt all my teeth were falling out.

So yeah. 

That was weird. 

It was so vivid that I can still recall the way it felt in the dream - having my teeth fall out one by one. I feel like it actually happened. 

It's funny because my gums, in reality, are quite thin in some places. I've seen a periodontist, and he recommended eventually I get a graft to strengthen them. It's hereditary. My maternal grandmother apparently had dentures quite young. I think. I'm not even sure if that's true, but I have this memory of my mom telling me that when I was little.... mom?? is that real?  

Anyway, of course I needed to know what such a vivid dream to could mean. 

I went to the book of Daniel to see if he could interpret my dream but teeth falling out wasn't in his repertoire. Nor Joseph's. 

So, alas. I settled on google. 

One website offered all the following possibilities for the meaning of a teeth-falling-out dream. 

1. Anxiety about appearances, especially as it relates to being menopausal, getting older, and becoming less feminine. Good gracious, I hope that's not it. 

2. Fear of being embarrassed, making a fool of yourself, or feeling unprepared for an upcoming task.

3. Because teeth are used to bite, tear, chew, and gnaw, a dream where your teeth fall out could stem from a sense of powerlessness, difficulty expressing yourself, feelings of inferiority in a certain situation. 

4. Malnutrition or poor diet. 

5. Putting faith in people's opinions rather than the word of God. (scriptural) 

6. A family member or close friend is sick or near death. (hispanic & greek) 

7. Telling lies (chinese) 

Well, it looks like the jury's still out on this one. 

Plus at the end of the day, I could care less what google tells me about a dream meaning. It's just a dream.

Meanwhile, I'll be brushing and flossing a little more thoroughly :) 

Do you remember your dreams? Do you ever have recurring dreams? Share in the comment section! 

How old is she? uhhhh....

When Miss Adelyn and I are out on the town, people often ask how old she is. I've been stumbling over my answer lately... 10 months.

10 MONTHS!!!!

What? 

What even happened in those 10 months? [she was born, finish school year, pack, temporarily move to Omaha, 2 vacations, move to Boston, daddy starts grad school.] but that's all besides the point. 

10 months old. 

10 wonderful months. 

We're not even to one year old yet and I already feel so nostalgic for those first few weeks. I think it's because she's starting to learn so much more quickly now and to communicate - what she wants, playing games, etc... 

She has changed so much.

 1 month old

2 months

3 months

[missed 4 months. oops. if my memory serves me correctly, this was my first month back at work and we were working on surviving. no time for photos :)]

5 months

6 months

7 months- that face. 

8 months

They were both too cute. I couldn't choose.

9 months

10 months. 

My mind can almost not process how much she has changed and grown in a year.
And yet some things are the same.
Her eyebrows have been expressive from day 1 [see 1 month picture above if you doubt.]
She's always done funny things with her hands - long skinny fingers.
Those cheeks aren't shrinking, although she does seem to be growing into them.
And her smile is as precious as the first time she flashed it.

My goodness, how I love this girl.
Which picture is your favorite? I can't possibly decide. I'm torn between 1, 7, and the first 8 month pic.

Secret sewing projects & my next quilt

I've been working on a few secret sewing projects. I can't share them with you yet. But they have been fun!!

I posted this on instagram awhile ago, but I made this quilt top.

After much agonizing in the fabric store, I landed on this fabric for the backing.

So, I have the top, batting and backing & I'm sure I have something around here that will work for the binding, but I'm too scared to tackle quilting it all together. I'm considering bringing it home at Christmas and asking either my mom, her neighbor, and/or my mother-in-law for help. Or maybe I'll take a class at our local store - they have a 'finish it up' class. I've watched approximately 4 tutorials online for basting, quilting, and binding, but I just can't bring myself to give it a try. I love the top and I don't want to ruin it :) But, I want to learn how to do it myself

Dilemmas!

In the meantime, I'm dreaming of the next quilt I work on.
I'm thinking zig zags.

The fishes are cute but I probably wouldn't use fish themed.  I do like the aqua/navy/orange though :) 

source

i LOVE this one!! 

source

but i also love this one. 

source

oh, and the other design on my list to try is a window block thing. that's the technical term. something like this:

source

source

source

source

i think that last one is my favorite in that style.
so many choices! my pinterest 'sewing' board is out of control.

What do you think? What's your favorite!?

It's never too early for Christmas Cookies!

My mom has a standard repertoire of Christmas Cookies and I wouldn't have it any other way. She gave me a little book with them all (and some room for more that I may add to my repertoire).
One of my favorites is peanut butter chocolate bon-bons.
I don't know why this is a 'christmas' cookie. There's nothing christmasy about them. But she always made them at Christmas, so I make them around Christmas time too.
This year, I'm jump-starting because I had all the ingredients and needed dessert for a couple things.
Made them a few mornings ago... baking before 9 am makes me feel like a superhero.

I've posted the recipe around last Christmas (when I was exploding with a baby), so here they are!

Oh. And it's always nice if you can have a helper in the kitchen.

Enjoy :)

Chicken and Wild Rice Soup

This soup is one of my favorites & now that the cold weather has officially settled in for a while, we'll be having a lot of it :) 

It's pretty forgiving. I use a combination of 2 recipes - one from a friend and one from my mom. 
You can do it in the crock pot or on the stove. Also, there are very few rules for me when it comes to soup. I often forget to measure. A little more liquid here, a few more veggies there... so, just use what you have on hand & it'll work out fine! 

Ingredients
*this makes a BIG pot of soup. I cut the broth in half and then just put in less veggies and flour-thickening mixture until it seemed the right consistency. It was plenty for the 2 of us to eat for a couple days. But I'll give the original measurements below & make some notes in pink.

8-10 Cups chicken broth and/ or stock. [I used half of each because it's what I had. My friend always uses bouillon cubes or powder. Forgiving, like I said.]
1 pkg Uncle Ben's Long Grain & Wild Rice (use the 'original' longer cooking one). OR any other wild rice you have around is fine. 
3-4 Tbs butter
1 Lg sweet onion, chopped
Olive oil 
8 oz sliced mushrooms. [Could omit.]
ANY veggies you want [I generally prefer it with just mushrooms, but I've had it with celery and carrots too. I was going to put carrots in last time, but some kitchen elves stole our peeler. We have 4 drawers in our 30 sq ft kitchen and I literally have NO idea where it is.]
1/2 c. flour 
Milk or half-and-half
2-3 c. chopped chicken. [I never measure chicken. I usually use 2 good sized chicken breasts in soup. I'd probably use 3 if I was making it for a bunch of people.]

Directions
Add 8 c. chicken broth/stock/bouillon [I did 4 cups here] and uncooked wild rice to crockpot or large pot on stove. Set to high. In a large skillet, heat olive oil. Saute onion, mushrooms, (and any other veggies) celery and carrots about 10 mins. Season with black pepper and add veggies to crockpot/ pot. Stir in chicken soup base. [I just added 2 more cups of broth.] Cook on high 3-4hrs if in the crockpot. Cook on medium-high for at least 30 minutes on stove. [or more or less.... there are very few rules.]

You do this next part about 20 minutes before you're ready to serve it... either after the soup has been on the stove for 30 minutes or in the crockpot 3-4 hours.

In same skillet over medium heat, melt 1/2 stick butter, whisk in 1/2 c. flour slowly and cook 1-2 mins. Don't over cook. Gradually add 1/2 and 1/2 or milk whisking constantly. [I used a little half and half, and some milk.] Once smooth, add white sauce to crockpot and combine. [Do not rush this. Don't add it until the mixture is smooth. The first time I made this, I added it when it was slightly chunky and it was GROSS! It added what we affectionately called dumplings, that were actually little flour dough balls to our soup. We threw it out. Moral: be sure to stir the milk/flour/ butter mixture slowly and thoroughly and add once it's smooth.] 

Because I had cut the rest of the recipe in half, I only ended up using about half my flour mixture to thicken the soup. I like to pour it in slowly because I don't like it too thick and goopy. Don't feel like you have to use all of it.

Add chicken and cook for allow all ingredients to come to temp - 15 or 20 more minutes.

We love to eat this with a yummy bread to dip. French loaf, ciabatta, sour dough, beer bread - whatever!

Also, it reheats great... but you'll probably have to add some more water and/or chicken broth to thin it out.

Let me know if you try it!

And we're back. Plus an adventure.

Oh hi there. It's been a while.
October was... busy. Let's just leave it at that and pick up right where we left off.

So, I've been wanting to make Christmas stockings for our family. Pinterest led me to a couple good tutorials (1) (2), and after scouring fabric.com, I decided on this fabric:

source

This etsy shop was selling those fabrics as a bundle - 1 fat quarter each. But I had recently seen this line at our local fabric store, so I decided to go there for it. It'd be slightly cheaper, and I'd be supporting the local store.

So, my side kick and I bundled up and got ready for an adventure.

Right as I was pulling into the fabric store, I hit a curb. (I was driving a zipcar.) By the time I pulled into the parking spot and got Addie out of her carseat, one tire was completely flat. Bummer. So, I called zipcar, and the nice man on the phone said they would send roadside assistance to repair it. Into the fabric store we went while we waited for roadside assistance to arrive.

Now we don't have Joann's here (very sad), so this is technically a quilting shop. I am always the youngest lady in a quilting shop... by decades. And Addie is usually quite a hit. So when the zipcar guy called back and needed me to go back out to the car, one of the three nice older ladies offered to watch Addie. Addie went right to her, no problem. She's very friendly. Well, I looked for the spare, which didn't exist and when I came back in, Addie was happily playing on the floor, surrounded by a host of sweet old ladies who were just loving having a baby around.

The fabric store did have the line of fabric, but not in the exact colors I wanted. Bummer #2.
BUT, they did have a sample stocking that was really big and made me decide to use half-yards for the stockings so they could hold a little more (you know, for when the little miss knows how to empty a christmas stocking).  Also, I was able to pick out a coordinating solid for the inside lining that matched perfectly! Hooray!

I got 2 of the 6 I wanted and decided to order the rest on fabric.com. [I didn't do this in the first place, because I originally thought I wanted fat quarters, which fabric.com doesn't do. But then when I decided half yards, I still wanted to get some from the fabric store because they were so helpful and nice - with deciding on fabric and with watching Addie while I shopped and looked for a spare tire.] haha

We ended up taking a cab home.
With only 1/3 of our fabric goal accomplished.
But, oh well. It was an adventure.

first cab ride

What did you do this week?

Glad to be back - thanks for reading! :)

Unexpected joys and hardships of parenting so far

That picture was taken 1 week after Adelyn was born. So much joy and exhaustion. So much that was unexpected.

I recently wrote a post that included my favorite baby products.

On a more important and serious note, that same friend had asked what the most unexpected joy / hardship came with transitioning to be a mama was for me? Well of course, if you know me, I couldn't just give one joy and one hardship, I had to write a novel.

Here's what I wrote.

The first unexpected joy and hardship was surrounding sleep and scheduling. A friend recommended a book called Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep. Her little boy was a great sleeper, and she said this was the general method they used. We didn't have any other thoughts on the matter, and the philosophy made sense to us, so we figured, what the heck!? The gist of Babywise is - from day 1, parents are in charge, which ultimately makes your infant feel very secure. It is different from 'on demand feeding' which is where you feed the baby whenever they want for how long they want. Rather, you work to get the baby on a nursing "schedule," which will set their metabolism and help them sleep in longer increments more quickly, and more soundly. In my personal opinion, the method worked great for us. But we learned that it's not a science. I remember thinking the book made it sound like a formula - put in A + B and out pops C. (Although it's been a while since I actually read it.) Generally we found that the principles were super helpful and worth sticking with. Adelyn was sleeping 12 hours through the night by 12 -14 weeks old. But, it's not like you never look back. There are growth spurts, and rolling, and teething, and moving, and vacations, and and and. The book might mention all that, but I don't remember that. I just remember thinking, "if I do xyz, then I'll have a great sleeper." I'll get to how this relates to a hardship in a minute... 

Anyway, I think it's worth a read, and at the very least, it allowed both Ben and I to think through our sleep/ feeding philosophy together. It's funny - i think before reading it, we assumed Ben wouldn't have much of a role in the whole feeding thing since I'd be nursing; but it turns out his support and encouragement and willingness to think through (and listen to my thinking through) the day in and day out scheduling decisions was HUGE! and really beneficial to us as new parents. we were on the same page, and i didn't feel all alone in determining her needs, just because I was nursing

As for your question about the unexpected - it's hard to pinpoint one. but i think one of the biggest unexpected hardships was how quickly the pride/ guilt mentality snuck in. I had no idea I would feel prideful over my baby about sleeping well and on the flip side, the feel guilty or like a failure if my baby didn't sleep well. Like I said - the Babywise method worked. and I think it's great. But for me, (and another similarly minded/ personality friend of mine) the temptation was to feel prideful in "success," as if I had it all figured out and was superior to my other new mommy friends who didn't. whew. thank the Lord he broke me of that quickly.

i have to reiterate - i think the principles of their method are really great & we will definitely be using it again if possible. BUT, i feel cautioned against the temptation to think i'm oh so awesome if my baby responds well and is a good sleeper because of it. Honestly, I now just feel thankful for God's grace in teaching us how to parent, even in the little things and short season of spit up and nursing and being awake in the middle of the night.

Moving on. 

another unexpected hard thing was how it changed the dynamic of our marriage. we knew it would. most people don't assume they'll add a child without any changes, but we didn't really know exactly what and how it would change. a lot of things were positive - new experiences; new things to seek the Lord's direction on; new understandings of God as a parent; seeing each other flourish in a new role; and so much joy from getting to know our daughter together. one hard thing though was how there were so many monotonous things to talk about. 'boring business things' as we called them. it doesn't sound like a big deal, and I don't know that it was a HUGE deal, but it was surprising and frustrating to be so tired and then spend the energy we did have talking about boring business things. how to care for/ refrigerate breast milk. how hot to make the bath. please get jammies. should we go on a walk before or after she eats what should our nighttime routine be she's waking early from naps - what do you suggest please thaw the beef at noon. please put the chicken in the crockpot on high for 6 hours. please get these 3 things at the store on your way home. okay so you'll be home to get addie at 3 and i'll pick her up from you at 4:30 don't forget xyz for the diaper bag for church.

it all sounds so silly. we really tried to be simple. not too much extra baby junk that was unnecessary. not too much fuss and hassle. but again, because we wanted to THINK through parenting decisions (small as they may seem in those early days), it took discussing to be on the same page. and those conversations are kind of neutral; definitely not exhilarating and romantic. and to top it all off, you can't have sex for the first several. [just being candid here, people. you were warned.] so, all that was an adjustment.

we learned how to have those conversations though and how to still pour love and affection and fun into each other. and it was a short season, even though in the moment, those first few week felt so so long.

one of the most unexpected joys was seeing God in a new light after becoming a parent. mostly, the revelations were new inner understandings of things I already understood with my head. i knew God sent his son because he loved us and would sacrifice anything. I didn't know how it felt to be willing to give up anything for your child. and I knew he loves us when we're difficult, but I didn't know how it felt to love your child when they're difficult and imperfect. and i had never felt such instant unconditional love before. it's different than marriage. Not better or worse. Just different. anyway - i feel like this joy is ongoing, something we're still experiencing.

other surprises - labor was painful. for me though, i had basically forgotten about the pain in a heartbeat when she came out. (that's not true for everyone.) recovery was PAINFUL. and gross. [people tried to warn you, but they just can't. and then you go through it, and it's like you join this club of every woman on the planet who's given birth. and then you can say "ohhhhh." and you all have this secret inside understanding. but if you want more details, i'd be happy to try to warn you. :)] the water breaking is the weirdest feeling ever. the level of excitement when you wake up and check the clock only to realize your baby hasn't woken up in 8 hours for the first time is INDESCRIBABLE!! when baby discovers her/his voice, they use it LOUDLY and non stop for a few days. the pacifier will in fact not definitely lead to nursing problems. but it might allow you to sleep for more than 2 hours. (i'm sure some babies experience nursing problems with a pacifier - i'm no expert; just giving our experience.) it is okay to let the nurses take your baby in the hospital overnight. you are not a bad mother if you want them to. i sometimes feel SO EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED when she's not sleeping well. that is hard.

nursing. I figured baby would come out and she would just know how. she didn't. And it was hard. it felt like an eternity. it was emotional and time consuming. but, we met with a lactation consultant several times in the first few weeks (which insurance covered), and ultimately I'm SO glad i stuck with nursing.

It's funny. That's where I ended the note to my friend, and in one sense, that feels like a lot. On the other hand, it feels like it doesn't even scratch the surface. Can words even begin to describe parenting? Perhaps a better writer than I can attempt, but it sure does feel like something I could write forever on. Don't worry. I'll spare you.

I'm sure the joys and hardships will come and go and change with each new season in our lives as parents. But for now, we are in the baby/ small child phase and it is what it is. 

Well, there it is. my heart on the page. whew. that's probably enough for one day.

Are you a parent? What have been your unexpected joys and hardships along the way?

Cooking Series #4 - Fall Treats

Back in September, I started a mini cooking series. I am no great chef, (although my husband sings my praises) but I do enjoy cooking and thought I'd share some tips and tricks I've learned.

So far this fall, I've made 3 yummy treats. And by 'yummy,' I mean AH-mazing-you-must-make-them-all-immediately.

[just so you know, I yanked these pictures from the websites I linked to for the recipes. they're not my images.]

# 3 - Pumpkin Cream Cheese Roll 

# 2 - Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins

These were every bit as good as the ones at Starbucks. Actually, better. Because they have streusel topping and streusel topping makes everything better. Also, they are a fraction of the price. 

p.s. for the muffins, you need pumpkin pie spice, which I just make using this recipe. 

1st Place goes to...   Caramel Apple Cheesecake Bars

Holy cow. These are what dessert should be. They are as good as they sound. Go make them now, please. 

Any excuses to try these out soon? 

I love fall. 

What's your favorite fall treat. 

my favorite baby products

A long-time friend just had a baby, and as she was gearing up for baby's arrival, I wrote to her about some baby products we loved. Thought I'd share my favorites with you...

These were products we were either so glad to have or ran out to get as soon as she was born because we wished we had them.

1. Footie jammies that zip. snaps are less than ideal. I mean we still used some with snaps, but I will avoid them at all costs in the future. those newborns poop and pee like no other and it is SO hard to snap in the middle of the night. friends of ours have ones that are magnetic, which is brilliant!! on more than one occasion, i almost stole them. [update: we were gifted magnetic jammies with Emma by a sweet friend and they were as awesome as they sound!!! I want two or three pairs in EVERY SIZE!!!! #expensive #firstworldproblems] how cute are these? or these!

2. onesies or jammies with fold over mitten sleeves. especially if you're having newborn pictures taken - you should put these on so they don't scratch up their face. we didn't & addie's face was soooo scratched up before we even left the hospital. amazon has a good deal! (plus you don't have to leave the couch #preggowin)

3. this one is RaNdOm. [side note - remember when alternating caps/ lowercase was the cool way to type. hash tag junior high.] we've had better luck nail clipping with regular revlon nail clippers (a good brand!) those baby ones are too dull in my opinion and actually lead to more cuts. kind of like dull knives you will feel like a crazy monster clipping your itty bitty newborn's fingernails with giant nail clippers but they work way better. They're cheaper on amazon than in walmart :)

4. a playmat with dangly things to look at & grab. ours was very simple but addie loved it. still does actually. this might have been the only toy we had for MONTHS! This one we have was gifted by a friend :) don't get a noise-making one. You'll thank me later.

5. we used a lot of plain white onesies, especially under other clothes in the winter. both short and long sleeved. i think i ended up with a 3 pack of each in every size. i like the way carter's ones fit the best.

6. a nursing cover was convenient - didn't use at first because it's awkward and takes a while to get the hang of without a cover. but i was glad i had one as opposed to using just a blanket. [see my updated post on this - i never used it with #2.]

7. addie had a lot of trouble nursing from the get go. we met with a lactation consultant every few days for 4 weeks. (insurance covered that too. in full. worth it!!! i am SO glad i stuck with nursing. more about this another time...) anyway, since she had trouble nursing, i had to pump and bottle feed her the breast milk. our lactation consultant suggested these bottles. it was what we used the most because it was supposedly the slowest one out there- which makes the baby work hard for the milk similar to nursing in a way. everyone has their favorites though!! this is definitely not a one-right-way type of thing.

8. JJ Cole Bundle Me - it easily straps right onto the carseat or stroller and is easier than bundling them up. If we were going to be outside on a walk, I'd often throw a blanket in too, but for the car, this was all we used. No coat or anything :) I bought my baby-size for $8.00 at a kid's resale store and my toddler-size, which I'm using on the stroller this fall for $20, also at a kid's resale store.

9. SwaddleMe - there are tons of brands out there, but we liked this one. (That's a link to the exact ones we had. Make sure you order a small for a new baby!) It was a life saver for us. Those newborns just love to be snuggled up tight. If I'm 100% honest, I was slightly worried that by swaddling, we would be giving her a 'sleep crutch' or something. But seriously, they outgrow it eventually. We stopped using it when she learned to roll back to tummy, but couldn't get back to her back. It seemed unsafe to keep her swaddled. So we unswaddled her and it took one night of cry-it-out in the middle of the night for her to figure out how to sleep on her tummy unswaddled. My niece used it longer, but would break her arms out of it immediately after awhile. It was kinda her cue that it was time to sleep, even though she could get out of it. And eventually, they just didn't even put her it in anymore. We LOVED these swaddlers.

Love the pacifier lines in this picture from intense pacifier sucking :)

plus, if you use a swaddler and then go un-swaddle when they wake up, you will see this cuteness :)

10. We recently bought a light-weight umbrella stroller for city life. It folds down with one step of your foot, and has an over-the-stroller carrying strap. It has a storage basket underneath, sunshade, and rain cover that attaches separately. Addie is so comfortable in it. This stroller alone convinced Ben that it is worth it to have a high-end stroller. (And if you know my husband, you know this is a FEAT!) On Amazon, the one we have is priced at $280, which wasn't about to happen. I paid $40 for a 2 year old model at a resale store. Score! If you don't live in a city, it probably isn't worth it to have a more expensive light weight stroller. It's worth it for us because walking/ public transportation is our made mode of getting around, and we live on the 3rd floor... so... yeah.  Just yesterday, I had 2 gallons of apple cider in the basket underneath, a reusable grocery bag full to the brim hanging on the handle, and a baby in there! It's pretty heavy duty for an 8 pound stroller. Oh, plus it's made in England, so that increases our cool-factor by at least 2 points.  In case you're in the market, here's MacLaren's website, and I also see a lot of people with Uppa Baby ones. I don't know much about the difference, I only bought the one I did b/c it was what was available used :) I've also heard good thing's about chicco's fancy umbrella stroller - brand new for only $80. Plus it comes in cute colors!

To all the momma readers in the house (and dad readers), what are your favorites?  

a few links and a funny video

We're having lots of visitors this month, so I haven't been writing much. But, I've been reading a little.

3 articles that really blessed me this week - 2 on prayer by the same gal and 1 on what stay-at-home-mom's do all day.

1. Prayer #1
2. Follow up prayer
3. You're a stay at home mom... What do you DO all day? 


Oh, and this video gave me a laugh.

seen anything good on the interweb lately? share a link in the comment section.

happy thursday, y'all! 

Go Big Red!

If I'm being totally honest, getting everybody in red for Husker Game Day is 80% about the photo-op and 20% about my team loyalty.

mom built a tower for crawling motivation :) she didn't crawl but she eventually made it over there.

i love the next one of my two loves. Adelyn's expression in these next 2 is priceless. 

we learned this trick from our friends Gemma and Tad

kisses for Adelyn...

kisses for Dadelyn. [it's a game they play...can you literally see my heart melting?]