I've been wanting to share this for a while now, but wasn't quite sure how. So here it goes.
At the beginning of June, we had a sudden realization that we were heading into a season where finances would be tight. And by tight I mean, income just would not pay the bills. It happened because of a series of events at one time - I took a new job and would be cutting back on piano. But wouldn't receive the new job's pay for a couple months. Ben is paid on a 10 month stipend for his work for the university so he wouldn't be getting paid.
Can I be honest? My first instinct was to pray AND budget budget budget! [note - 'pray AND do something' is not always the best sign of faith. Next time step one will be - just pray.] I knew the Lord would provide and I like budgeting anyway (spreadsheets, numbers, it's just fun to me. weird, i know.) so I just kept redoing it over and over. Cutting back wherever possible. Okay, we'll eat rice, frozen vegetables and pasta for 2 months. Okay, we'll cancel they gym membership and the $8 netflix account.
As my awesome budgeting skills did not seem to be solving our problem, I felt slightly overwhelmed. And I realized ... while I had prayed, "okay, Lord, I know you're going to take care of this," my actions immediately following that prayer (trying to solve the numbers myself) proved that I didn't really trust him. I needed some faith. And that little verse I've heard in church so many times came back into my mind - faith comes by hearing, hearing the word of God.
So I went in my room and opened my Bible to Matthew 6 and started reading.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where theives break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your trasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body, so if your eye is healthy, the whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be deovted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ANd which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore, do not be anxious saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the Gentiles seek after al these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Let's just say, that passage I had heard oh so many times made me weak in the knees.
{more to come tomorrow}
