Sunday, June 30, 2013

That conversation with someone you haven't seen in a while.

I recently was in a wedding and had the chance to catch up with many old friends (and make some new ones).  Sometimes I dread that kind of thing where you have to make casual conversation all night, but it was actually super fun! 

A lot of times the convo went like this:

Me and person in union "oh my gosh it's so great to see you" (insert hug and smile)
Me: how are you? What are you up to these days?" (Or if a new acquaintance, "so, what do you do?"
Person: "oh, you know... I'm finishing up my masters at Yale."    Or 
"I just got a new job as a special Ed teacher."     Or 
"I am moving to San Francisco to design a new parole system."    Or 
"I work for Harvard Mass Gen doing research in the bio genetics departments."    Or
"I'm with a political documentary company out of California... So like we were just filming in the Middle East."     
(Seriously, those are all real. No exaggeration.)
Me: wow, that is so neat. 
(After some discussion of said amazing profession, the convo continues.)
Person: I've seen pictures of your baby on Facebook... She is so cute. What are you up to?
Me: being a mom. I was teaching but now I'm going to stay home with Addie.  
Annnnnnd here's where the reactions start to vary.
"That's so great. You're lucky." (I have to say, this one used to surprise me, but now, it is by far the most common reaction.) 
"Awe fun. But won't Ben be in school...?" (I think the implied question is - how will you make money? Haha)
Or my favorite:    
"Oh....." (Silence)

Here's the thing. We have made a conscious decision for our family that for this season (or at least this next year), and for as long as we feel like God allows it- I will stay home with our children.  We might have to give up some things we wont be able to afford for a while. It might mean you and I don't have much to talk about. (Because the average person doesn't find diapers, first giggles, and first rolls at fascinating). It might mean people think we're a little nutso. It might mean I'm not showered even though we are talking at 3:00 in the afternoon. 
But I'm okay with all of that.
And I'm not even wanting to climb on a stay-at-home-mom soap box and try to justify why i do it or complain to you about diapers and spit up and laundry. Nor am I doing those things in my head as I part ways with the above mentioned acquaintance.
I just want to say that I love it. I'm thankful it's possible for us right now. I'm adjusting to how to engage people who are in a different place in life than me. 

So back to that conversation at the wedding that I had over and over. A lot of times, people would follow their reaction with "and how's being a mom?"

Long answer: I don't have time right now. :) 
so I'd usually just give the short answer.
"I love it. It's better than I imagined and we are so grateful."

And that is the whole truth.