Monday, October 15, 2012

On pregnancy

Perhaps it's a side effect of pregnancy brain, or just a growing season of life, but there are so many thoughts swimming around in my head these days, it's hard to know how to put them in writing.

Truth? I'm becoming more prone to sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and sharing them with the Lord because he knows the deepest thoughts of my heart better than I know myself - He doesn't need me to articulate clearly, and he can reveal to me the innermost parts of my own soul. 

I can't quite explain this - maybe every pregnant woman goes through it - but there's been a change in how I am excited to meet this baby.  In the last week or 2, the level of connection has changed - as if all of the sudden, I "get it." 

She is in there... my precious daughter.  Growing until she's ready to make her debut and then, for about 20-ish years, she is entrusted to Ben and me to raise and train and teach.  Woah. 

She can hear me.  When I pray for this baby, she's real.  Not just a figment of my imagination or a 'someday' baby anymore.  She's there.  She's coming.

12 weeks (plus or minus a few days) is not that far away.

I am SO glad I have seen someone give birth.  I thought it would be weird and gross but it was beautiful and amazing and it was like the real-version of reading the books that tell you what's coming... much quicker and easier to just see it :)

This baby girl is already so loved.  Not just by me but by all these other people.  People have been showering us with love, gifts and prayers.  At times I am so overwhelmed by the way God blesses us through others - it's all I can do not to just weep and sing His praises all the live long day.  [Keep in mind I'm more prone to tears these days anyway.]

Thinking, waiting, hoping, praying,