oh hi there.
remember that time I had another baby?
Well, here's the official blog introduction of sweet Emma Catherine.
She weighed in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce.
21 inches long (exactly the same as her big sister).
This time around, I decided to use a birth photographer. If it's not your thing, don't judge. But I love love love good pictures. And I am so glad I have those precious first moments with Emma frozen in time. Here are a few of my favorites.
Love our new girl.
Love my husband.
Love my family of 4.
My heart is overflowing with thanks. God is good.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
so we had a{nother} baby...
Posted by
Renee Cook
at
3:33 PM
so we had a{nother} baby...
2014-06-25T15:33:00-04:00
Renee Cook
baby|Emma|family|
Comments
Thursday, May 15, 2014
TBT
In honor of "throw back thursday" (a social media trend I very much enjoy, by the way)...
Well, the other night, I woke up with some intense contractions. They were strong & frequent for a couple of hours. I was just past 36 weeks pregnant, and while my first baby came 10 days early, I would have been quite surprised if we were heading to the hospital 4 weeks early! Since I couldn't sleep anyway, I figured I'd better rummage around and at least get a list for those hospital bags :) Eventually, the contractions died down and I went back to sleep. But over the past couple days, I've tried to track down some of our newborn stuff from Addie. That might not sound difficult since it's not even been a year and a half yet, but we've lived in 3 places since she was born, so it was easier said than done.
As I ran some tiny newborn clothes through the laundry, my memory was flooded with the very fuzzy visions of those first weeks of motherhood. Though almost nothing is clear, I do have a couple vivid memories.
I remember almost nothing else from our hospital stay except being so so so tired. and waking up with every peep she made. Both nights I reluctantly asked the nurses to take her into the nursery. Both nights they did, and brought her back for me to nurse her every few hours. They always said she slept soundly. I remember feeling guilty for sending her away since she had slept so soundly. But I didn't know how to sleep with her in the room.
I remember buckling Addie into her carseat, ready to leave the hospital. The nurse commented that we didn't have socks on her even though it was December 31. Woops.
One other thing I remember is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed by the amount of pain my body was in.
Overwhelmed by exhaustion.
Overwhelmed by her not nursing well.
Overwhelmed by my emotions.
And overwhelmed by a new kind of love I had never experienced before.
A friend linked to this article on facebook the other day that seems to 'fit' in with all my pregnant rambling. I cried when I read it. Obviously.
Can't believe we get to do this again soon.
Here's to round 2!
we had an early ultrasound to date the pregnancy with Addie.
our little grain of rice/ baby
a few weeks after we found out we were pregnant, Ben and I went on a road trip to Arizona with his parents and brothers.
Well, the other night, I woke up with some intense contractions. They were strong & frequent for a couple of hours. I was just past 36 weeks pregnant, and while my first baby came 10 days early, I would have been quite surprised if we were heading to the hospital 4 weeks early! Since I couldn't sleep anyway, I figured I'd better rummage around and at least get a list for those hospital bags :) Eventually, the contractions died down and I went back to sleep. But over the past couple days, I've tried to track down some of our newborn stuff from Addie. That might not sound difficult since it's not even been a year and a half yet, but we've lived in 3 places since she was born, so it was easier said than done.
As I ran some tiny newborn clothes through the laundry, my memory was flooded with the very fuzzy visions of those first weeks of motherhood. Though almost nothing is clear, I do have a couple vivid memories.
I remember the euphoria I felt when I heard her cry and they placed her on my chest. And I remember a few precious moments after everything settled down. everyone left the room. It was just the 3 of us. My family. [Yes, Ben is wearing his shirt that says "I <3 Renee Cook."]
I remember almost nothing else from our hospital stay except being so so so tired. and waking up with every peep she made. Both nights I reluctantly asked the nurses to take her into the nursery. Both nights they did, and brought her back for me to nurse her every few hours. They always said she slept soundly. I remember feeling guilty for sending her away since she had slept so soundly. But I didn't know how to sleep with her in the room.
I remember buckling Addie into her carseat, ready to leave the hospital. The nurse commented that we didn't have socks on her even though it was December 31. Woops.
I remember my mom snapping this photo after we got home from the hospital. It dawned on me that we hadn't even taken a photo just the 3 of us after she was born. (I had to 'crop' the midwife out of the one above!) Not sure why I still remember thinking about that.
I remember many of our family coming over for the Husker bowl game. We wanted to visit with family, give everyone time to snuggle Addie & watch it together, but I couldn't muster up the energy to go to my inlaws' house where we had planned to watch it. So they came to us. I napped for a lot of it and everyone took turns holding Addie. :)
One other thing I remember is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed by the amount of pain my body was in.
Overwhelmed by exhaustion.
Overwhelmed by her not nursing well.
Overwhelmed by my emotions.
And overwhelmed by a new kind of love I had never experienced before.
A friend linked to this article on facebook the other day that seems to 'fit' in with all my pregnant rambling. I cried when I read it. Obviously.
Can't believe we get to do this again soon.
Here's to round 2!
Labels:
family,
Motherhood
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
On anxiety - part one.
2 months ago, I wrote about the 4 major life events we were tackling in about 3 weeks.
Well, the 3 weeks is here, folks. Last week, I flew from Boston to Omaha with miss Adelyn (and the help of my wonderful mother). Then, my main man finished up grad school, had a quick vacay with his parents and brothers who were visiting Boston, packed up our moving truck, and is driving as we speak.
alone.
from Boston, Massachusetts.
which is located on the Atlantic ocean.
to Omaha, Nebraska
which is 1444 miles from the Atlantic ocean.
pulling our car on an auto transport behind the truck.
This week, Lord willing, a few crucial things will come together and we'll make a decision about Ben's job. And maybe move into our new place. Or maybe that will be next week. Unless the baby arrives early. I'm 36 weeks and 3 days. So we'll squeeze in a birth sometimes in the next few weeks too.
When I wrote about all this back in March, I left something out because I hadn't processed it yet. But now, I can articulate it. I think.
Sometime in February-ish, an unprecedented level of anxiety began to creep into my soul. I say unprecedented because I don't really tend to be an anxious person. I'm pretty go-with-the-flow-it'll-all-work-out-and-when-possible-make-a-list-or-spreadsheet-to-figure-it-out. In fact, I didn't even know what to do with a persistent feeling of anxiety. But, all of the sudden, it seemed, a lot of uncertainty was piled up at once. a lot.
My lists weren't working.
And there was nothing to 'figure out.'
And I would find myself in the middle of the day, or night, feeling physically nervous. My heart would start racing, my mind wondering how everything would play out.
Have you been there? In the midst of heart-pounding-can't-sleep-so-many-questions-anxiety?
It's not fun. Everything seemed urgent and nothing seemed to have a solution. I needed to not feel like this. One morning, after a few minutes of waking up in the early morning hours, tossing and turning, trying to get back to sleep, I tiptoed (aka: rolled awkwardly like a huge pregnant whale & waddled) out of bed into the living room to pray. I didn't really know what to pray, but I asked the Lord to give me peace.
And this verse was brought to mind - "Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
I'm not sure when I memorized that one, but there it was, coming up to the surface of my mind right when I needed it.
Do not be anxious about anything. [Ha! Like it's that easy! I thought]
The more I thought through it though, the more I realized that the verse doesn't just say "Do not be anxious about anything." If it ended there, it'd be up to me to muster up the willpower to just not be anxious.
But it doesn't end there.
And it wasn't up to me to just muster up a peaceful feeling.
The second part is even more helpful.
BUT, in everything, by prayer and supplication [asking], with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
At some point, it dawned on me that I actually needed to follow those instructions in order to experience the "peace of God that surpasses all understanding." However initially unsatisfying this 'to-do' appeared, this was the thing I could do. I could let my requests be made known to God. How easy it is to recite a verse over and over and not actually do what it says. Maybe God knew we'd be like that when he inspired James to write "Don't just listen to God's Word. Do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves." (James 1:22)
So, heart pounding in the early morning, full of anxiety, I started to do exactly that - let my requests be made known to God.
At first I couldn't even get the words out to pray for anything else. It was like I just didn't know what to say. All I could do was list the things that were producing anxiety.
And then, over time, I started asking for resolution & clarity. Asking for unity in decision-making with Ben. Breathing slowly, allowing the peace of God that surpasses understanding to wash over my heart and my mind.
And you know what? It worked. Just like God promised it would.
In everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Until 2 hours later when I started to remember all the things that were unresolved.
And so, like the instructions on a shampoo bottle - rinse and repeat.
Listing all my requests to God. Making them all known.
Of course, He already knew them. But something about the process of telling them to Him - casting all my anxieties onto him - something about doing what the Bible said to do... well, it worked.
Again.
And again.
So that's part one. We've learned a lot in the past year. And I've spent a lot of time processing it all these past weeks, hence the silence in blog-world. It was too much to write. Too hard to get the words out in any sensible fashion. I have approximately 12 posts started and left in draft form, foggy, unclear, unfinished. Slowly, though, I think it's coming to me. Bit by bit. And I'm eager to share it with you.
But for now, just one little part. On anxiety. And its desire to control you. Don't let it.
In those moments of fear, remember, there is a God who cares for you. YOU. As an individual.
He cares about your heart and your mind and your state of being.
He sees you awake at night, wondering how it'll all turn out.
And he says - tell me all your requests. give them all to me. my yoke is easy and my burden is light. i love you. i want to pour out my peace on you.
He says his peace will stand guard at the doors of your heart and mind.
If only we would just let our requests be made known to Him.
Well, the 3 weeks is here, folks. Last week, I flew from Boston to Omaha with miss Adelyn (and the help of my wonderful mother). Then, my main man finished up grad school, had a quick vacay with his parents and brothers who were visiting Boston, packed up our moving truck, and is driving as we speak.
alone.
from Boston, Massachusetts.
which is located on the Atlantic ocean.
to Omaha, Nebraska
which is 1444 miles from the Atlantic ocean.
pulling our car on an auto transport behind the truck.
This week, Lord willing, a few crucial things will come together and we'll make a decision about Ben's job. And maybe move into our new place. Or maybe that will be next week. Unless the baby arrives early. I'm 36 weeks and 3 days. So we'll squeeze in a birth sometimes in the next few weeks too.
When I wrote about all this back in March, I left something out because I hadn't processed it yet. But now, I can articulate it. I think.
Sometime in February-ish, an unprecedented level of anxiety began to creep into my soul. I say unprecedented because I don't really tend to be an anxious person. I'm pretty go-with-the-flow-it'll-all-work-out-and-when-possible-make-a-list-or-spreadsheet-to-figure-it-out. In fact, I didn't even know what to do with a persistent feeling of anxiety. But, all of the sudden, it seemed, a lot of uncertainty was piled up at once. a lot.
My lists weren't working.
And there was nothing to 'figure out.'
And I would find myself in the middle of the day, or night, feeling physically nervous. My heart would start racing, my mind wondering how everything would play out.
Have you been there? In the midst of heart-pounding-can't-sleep-so-many-questions-anxiety?
It's not fun. Everything seemed urgent and nothing seemed to have a solution. I needed to not feel like this. One morning, after a few minutes of waking up in the early morning hours, tossing and turning, trying to get back to sleep, I tiptoed (aka: rolled awkwardly like a huge pregnant whale & waddled) out of bed into the living room to pray. I didn't really know what to pray, but I asked the Lord to give me peace.
And this verse was brought to mind - "Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
I'm not sure when I memorized that one, but there it was, coming up to the surface of my mind right when I needed it.
Do not be anxious about anything. [Ha! Like it's that easy! I thought]
The more I thought through it though, the more I realized that the verse doesn't just say "Do not be anxious about anything." If it ended there, it'd be up to me to muster up the willpower to just not be anxious.
But it doesn't end there.
And it wasn't up to me to just muster up a peaceful feeling.
The second part is even more helpful.
BUT, in everything, by prayer and supplication [asking], with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
At some point, it dawned on me that I actually needed to follow those instructions in order to experience the "peace of God that surpasses all understanding." However initially unsatisfying this 'to-do' appeared, this was the thing I could do. I could let my requests be made known to God. How easy it is to recite a verse over and over and not actually do what it says. Maybe God knew we'd be like that when he inspired James to write "Don't just listen to God's Word. Do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves." (James 1:22)
So, heart pounding in the early morning, full of anxiety, I started to do exactly that - let my requests be made known to God.
At first I couldn't even get the words out to pray for anything else. It was like I just didn't know what to say. All I could do was list the things that were producing anxiety.
And then, over time, I started asking for resolution & clarity. Asking for unity in decision-making with Ben. Breathing slowly, allowing the peace of God that surpasses understanding to wash over my heart and my mind.
And you know what? It worked. Just like God promised it would.
In everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Until 2 hours later when I started to remember all the things that were unresolved.
And so, like the instructions on a shampoo bottle - rinse and repeat.
Listing all my requests to God. Making them all known.
Of course, He already knew them. But something about the process of telling them to Him - casting all my anxieties onto him - something about doing what the Bible said to do... well, it worked.
Again.
And again.
So that's part one. We've learned a lot in the past year. And I've spent a lot of time processing it all these past weeks, hence the silence in blog-world. It was too much to write. Too hard to get the words out in any sensible fashion. I have approximately 12 posts started and left in draft form, foggy, unclear, unfinished. Slowly, though, I think it's coming to me. Bit by bit. And I'm eager to share it with you.
But for now, just one little part. On anxiety. And its desire to control you. Don't let it.
In those moments of fear, remember, there is a God who cares for you. YOU. As an individual.
He cares about your heart and your mind and your state of being.
He sees you awake at night, wondering how it'll all turn out.
And he says - tell me all your requests. give them all to me. my yoke is easy and my burden is light. i love you. i want to pour out my peace on you.
He says his peace will stand guard at the doors of your heart and mind.
If only we would just let our requests be made known to Him.
Posted by
Renee Cook
at
7:33 AM
On anxiety - part one.
2014-05-14T07:33:00-04:00
Renee Cook
faith|family|
Comments
Friday, April 25, 2014
TBT
A couple nights ago, I was looking through old pictures for a project. Ben and I had so much fun reminiscing about the last few years!
April 2010 - 4 years ago
I was teaching at Clinton Elementary School in Chicago, filling a maternity sub position.
I love pictures. I love how they preserve a moment in time.
What were you doing 1,2,3,4, or 5 years ago? :)
April 2014 - now
living in Cambridge, MA, exploring parks & growing a baby.
April 2013 - 1 year ago
Ben and his brothers went to the Huskers' spring game
Addie didn't get to go, but didn't stop her from dressing for the occasion.
April 2012 - 2 years ago
I finished my first quilt top. I took a free quilting class that met on a Wednesday morning at our church in Lincoln. I was the youngest in the class by about 4 decades. This quilt makes me dizzy...
April 2011 - 3 years ago
Celebratory dinner for my Uncle Jeff's birthday.
April 2010 - 4 years ago
I was teaching at Clinton Elementary School in Chicago, filling a maternity sub position.
We had decided my talented and creative cousin would arrange flowers for the wedding, & we were doing some experimenting... originally our wedding was planned for October 2010. Ben was studying in Costa Rica.
But also in April, we changed our minds and moved the wedding up to July. So I scoped out venues and we decided to get married in my aunt and uncle's back yard.
and just for fun because it is TBT after all, April (ish) 1988
blurry, but that's 7-8 month old yours truly with her dear uncle jeff.
I love pictures. I love how they preserve a moment in time.
What were you doing 1,2,3,4, or 5 years ago? :)
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
WFMW no. 3 - buying on craigslist
This is the 3rd home we are furnishing and unfurnishing on Craigslist.
We are not in the season where it makes sense to buy 'forever' furniture, so what's worked for us the first few years of marriage is buying what we need for where we are and then selling it when we go somewhere else.
A friend of mine recently said, "hey will you find me such and such a stroller on craigslist because I like the idea, but we aren't craigslist people."
And it made me realize... Craigslist is weird and overwhelming, and I've learned a few tips and tricks along the way, so I thought I'd share them.
BUYING. Let's cover buying this week and selling next week. Baby steps, people, baby steps.
1. Look in advance When I know I have an upcoming purchase I might want to use craigslist for, I start looking before I need it. Craigslist isn't Amazon. You're more likely to find a great deal if you keep an eye out for a while.
2. How to search This is the home page for Boston. The tiny abbreviations next to "Boston" are more specific areas in Boston (gbs, nwb, bmw, nos, sob). For something like an end table, I might not really be willing to travel outside of my specific area, so I might click one of those to narrow the search. But for something like the perfect double stroller, I might be willing to drive 30 minutes, so I wouldn't click any of those.
I was looking for a double stroller for a while. So, I clicked the 'baby + kid' section under the for sale heading. This is the first thing I see. Again, you can see the narrower locations as tabs across the top. I'll keep it on 'all boston' for now.
In most of the categories, but especially in the baby + kids section, there is a lot of junk. Someone selling 5 rattles for a dollar or a random 6 month girls outfit. Now don't get me wrong, I am not above garage sale-ing anything for my kid. Almost every item I've bought for my kid(s) is used. But, I don't use Craigslist like a garage sale because it's not worth the hassle to me for the small stuff. Anyway, moving on.
If you wanted to browse all double strollers, you might type "double stroller" in the search box. I was looking for a specific one - the Baby Jogger City Select Double. If you type all those words, it'll only pull up ads with all those words. This is a main thing to keep in mind because not everybody thinks like you. So even though, that is what I was looking for, I usually just typed City Select. Baby Jogger is the brand, but this particular stroller is their City Select model. I didn't think everyone selling one would necessarily include the brand. I usually try a few different ways of searching if I'm looking for something specific.
Example: sofa/ sleeper sofa/ pullout couch/ hide a bed/ - all as different searches.
Example: end table/ bedside table/ table - all as different searches.
3. Making contact. Okay so, I've narrowed down my search by typing "City Select" in the search box. And this is what comes up.
I see the stroller I want in black for $450 (top middle) and in white for $400. I will probably contact both of those people since they're only $50 in price difference. People negotiate. We'll get there later. I click the ad and it takes me to this page. See the tiny "reply" button in the top left?
Click "reply" and up pops this:
If you click the crazy email address listed under "reply by email," it will open your default mail browser, which is probably Microsoft Outlook on Windows (does anyone on the planet use outlook!?) or Apple Mail on Mac (which I equally dislike). I always click 'gmail' and it will open this page in a new tab:
This is a new-ish feature of craigslist and a big improvement, in my opinion. It's super nice that they plug in that crazy email for you (it's to protect seller's private email) and that they include the link to the product for sale in the email already. Way easier than copying and pasting all that, especially when you're emailing several people and spacey and pregnant :)
I usually write the following for my first email (and I write it above the link that's there already):
Hi, is your [blank item] still available? Thanks, Renee
I think it makes a slight difference to say "Hi," format your email like a letter, and include your first name in the signature. But that's just me. This will open an email exchange between you and this other person, but they will not have your personal email unless you give it to them. In their inbox, your email will appear as a similarly crazy code email to hide your real email. But you will still be able to view this email in your regular gmail inbox. I like that feature too. Way to go, Craig.
4. Negotiating. Think about value for a minute. The value of an item is determined by what people are willing to pay for it. Therefore, a 'good price' is what 2 people agree on. If you see that ad and think "400" is crazy for a stroller and I see it and think it's a good deal, then you won't pay for it, and I will. And the seller will get her $400. It sounds simple, but it's an important concept in negotiating.
Check how long it's been for sale
Here's the ad again. See at the top where it says "posted: a day ago"?
How long it's been up might determine how willing or unwilling the seller is to negotiate the price. If it's been up for 1 day and she's gotten 10 emails from interested people, she probably won't go lower on the price right away. This is why I never mention price in my first email. I only ever ask if the item is still available.
Check out retail value.
She says this retails for over $800 new. I'm skeptical. Check a few websites and ad up the cost of all the parts she's selling. It might come in handy to know current retail value during your negotiations.
Check out comparable listings.
If there are 5 other strollers like this, all around $400, you could maybe swing a slightly lower price. If someone else was selling this for $350 but it was red and I wanted white, I might say at some point, "There is another one for sale for $350 that I would buy, but I like the white a little better. Would you take $350?" [Again, I wouldn't say this in the first email, only after I've heard back from her.]
Check out their selling time frame.
Sometimes people say, "moving, must sell immediately." Or something similar. Obviously, they are a little more likely to negotiate (in general).
Price firm?
Sometimes people specify "price firm" in the ad. If that is the case, I don't usually ask for lower. If it's too much higher than I'm willing to pay, then I don't contact them. UNLESS the ad has been posted for a while (10 days or more) and it's still available... Then i know they might be more willing to negotiate even though they originally said "price firm."
Lowball offers.
I don't usually 'lowball.' Meaning, I probably wouldn't ask this lady if she'd take $100. That's less than half of what she's asking and it looks like it's in great shape. Plus, as she notes in her ad, the retail value of all that is around $800. If our email exchange led me to think I might have a shot at a crazy low offer, I'd probably do it like this:
[This is a screen shot of an email I received about a mirror I had listed on craigslist to sell. It's a decorative floor mirror, retails for $100 from Ikea, in perfect shape, I was asking $60. I've since changed my mind and decided to move it :) ]
I think, there's no harm in asking to go very low, but be nice and acknowledge that it's low and a slight explanation wouldn't do any harm in that situation.
Know when to negotiate
Lately, I almost always do the negotiating via email. Quite frankly, if that stroller is $400 and I'm not willing to pay more than $350, then I don't want to make the trip out there if she's not willing to come down on the price. So I ask before I go.
My personal rule of thumb is that if we negotiated the price via email, I do not try to negotiate again in person UNLESS the item is somehow different than described. If I'm buying a couch and we agreed on $200 and then I get there and it has some rips or stains, I would either ask for less or decide I don't want it.
Sometimes, it might just be more appropriate to skip negotiating via email and wait to see the item. Maybe if the pictures are blurry and they can't send any better ones but you think it might be worth seeing because you're really interested. Or with an electronic item you'd want to test first. Or with a used car.
5. Less is More.
Remember, you're on the internet. People are weird. They don't need your life story, your social security number, your last name, or your home address. Stick the facts, but don't be cold or rude.
6. Go with a friend.
I almost never go alone to pick something up unless it's at a public location. A recent exception would be buying a stroller actually. I found the double I wanted at a great price, exchanged several emails with the lady, and texted back and forth about her address. We agreed upon a time for me to pick it up and it had to be when it was just me and Addie. I knew from her address that she lived in a 2-flat on a busy street in a busy part of Boston. She met me outside on the sidewalk with the stroller ready. (I would never enter someone's house alone.) She showed me how to work it, offered to put it in the car for me since I am quite pregnant, and I paid her the money and we left. It was cordial, but not too friendly. And really, still in 'public' because we were outside in front of her apartment building.
And just for some motivation, here are some finds I've had on Craigslist:
We are not in the season where it makes sense to buy 'forever' furniture, so what's worked for us the first few years of marriage is buying what we need for where we are and then selling it when we go somewhere else.
A friend of mine recently said, "hey will you find me such and such a stroller on craigslist because I like the idea, but we aren't craigslist people."
And it made me realize... Craigslist is weird and overwhelming, and I've learned a few tips and tricks along the way, so I thought I'd share them.
BUYING. Let's cover buying this week and selling next week. Baby steps, people, baby steps.
1. Look in advance When I know I have an upcoming purchase I might want to use craigslist for, I start looking before I need it. Craigslist isn't Amazon. You're more likely to find a great deal if you keep an eye out for a while.
2. How to search This is the home page for Boston. The tiny abbreviations next to "Boston" are more specific areas in Boston (gbs, nwb, bmw, nos, sob). For something like an end table, I might not really be willing to travel outside of my specific area, so I might click one of those to narrow the search. But for something like the perfect double stroller, I might be willing to drive 30 minutes, so I wouldn't click any of those.
I was looking for a double stroller for a while. So, I clicked the 'baby + kid' section under the for sale heading. This is the first thing I see. Again, you can see the narrower locations as tabs across the top. I'll keep it on 'all boston' for now.
In most of the categories, but especially in the baby + kids section, there is a lot of junk. Someone selling 5 rattles for a dollar or a random 6 month girls outfit. Now don't get me wrong, I am not above garage sale-ing anything for my kid. Almost every item I've bought for my kid(s) is used. But, I don't use Craigslist like a garage sale because it's not worth the hassle to me for the small stuff. Anyway, moving on.
If you wanted to browse all double strollers, you might type "double stroller" in the search box. I was looking for a specific one - the Baby Jogger City Select Double. If you type all those words, it'll only pull up ads with all those words. This is a main thing to keep in mind because not everybody thinks like you. So even though, that is what I was looking for, I usually just typed City Select. Baby Jogger is the brand, but this particular stroller is their City Select model. I didn't think everyone selling one would necessarily include the brand. I usually try a few different ways of searching if I'm looking for something specific.
Example: sofa/ sleeper sofa/ pullout couch/ hide a bed/ - all as different searches.
Example: end table/ bedside table/ table - all as different searches.
3. Making contact. Okay so, I've narrowed down my search by typing "City Select" in the search box. And this is what comes up.
I see the stroller I want in black for $450 (top middle) and in white for $400. I will probably contact both of those people since they're only $50 in price difference. People negotiate. We'll get there later. I click the ad and it takes me to this page. See the tiny "reply" button in the top left?
Click "reply" and up pops this:
If you click the crazy email address listed under "reply by email," it will open your default mail browser, which is probably Microsoft Outlook on Windows (does anyone on the planet use outlook!?) or Apple Mail on Mac (which I equally dislike). I always click 'gmail' and it will open this page in a new tab:
This is a new-ish feature of craigslist and a big improvement, in my opinion. It's super nice that they plug in that crazy email for you (it's to protect seller's private email) and that they include the link to the product for sale in the email already. Way easier than copying and pasting all that, especially when you're emailing several people and spacey and pregnant :)
I usually write the following for my first email (and I write it above the link that's there already):
Hi, is your [blank item] still available? Thanks, Renee
I think it makes a slight difference to say "Hi," format your email like a letter, and include your first name in the signature. But that's just me. This will open an email exchange between you and this other person, but they will not have your personal email unless you give it to them. In their inbox, your email will appear as a similarly crazy code email to hide your real email. But you will still be able to view this email in your regular gmail inbox. I like that feature too. Way to go, Craig.
4. Negotiating. Think about value for a minute. The value of an item is determined by what people are willing to pay for it. Therefore, a 'good price' is what 2 people agree on. If you see that ad and think "400" is crazy for a stroller and I see it and think it's a good deal, then you won't pay for it, and I will. And the seller will get her $400. It sounds simple, but it's an important concept in negotiating.
Check how long it's been for sale
Here's the ad again. See at the top where it says "posted: a day ago"?
How long it's been up might determine how willing or unwilling the seller is to negotiate the price. If it's been up for 1 day and she's gotten 10 emails from interested people, she probably won't go lower on the price right away. This is why I never mention price in my first email. I only ever ask if the item is still available.
Check out retail value.
She says this retails for over $800 new. I'm skeptical. Check a few websites and ad up the cost of all the parts she's selling. It might come in handy to know current retail value during your negotiations.
Check out comparable listings.
If there are 5 other strollers like this, all around $400, you could maybe swing a slightly lower price. If someone else was selling this for $350 but it was red and I wanted white, I might say at some point, "There is another one for sale for $350 that I would buy, but I like the white a little better. Would you take $350?" [Again, I wouldn't say this in the first email, only after I've heard back from her.]
Check out their selling time frame.
Sometimes people say, "moving, must sell immediately." Or something similar. Obviously, they are a little more likely to negotiate (in general).
Price firm?
Sometimes people specify "price firm" in the ad. If that is the case, I don't usually ask for lower. If it's too much higher than I'm willing to pay, then I don't contact them. UNLESS the ad has been posted for a while (10 days or more) and it's still available... Then i know they might be more willing to negotiate even though they originally said "price firm."
Lowball offers.
I don't usually 'lowball.' Meaning, I probably wouldn't ask this lady if she'd take $100. That's less than half of what she's asking and it looks like it's in great shape. Plus, as she notes in her ad, the retail value of all that is around $800. If our email exchange led me to think I might have a shot at a crazy low offer, I'd probably do it like this:
[This is a screen shot of an email I received about a mirror I had listed on craigslist to sell. It's a decorative floor mirror, retails for $100 from Ikea, in perfect shape, I was asking $60. I've since changed my mind and decided to move it :) ]
I think, there's no harm in asking to go very low, but be nice and acknowledge that it's low and a slight explanation wouldn't do any harm in that situation.
Know when to negotiate
Lately, I almost always do the negotiating via email. Quite frankly, if that stroller is $400 and I'm not willing to pay more than $350, then I don't want to make the trip out there if she's not willing to come down on the price. So I ask before I go.
My personal rule of thumb is that if we negotiated the price via email, I do not try to negotiate again in person UNLESS the item is somehow different than described. If I'm buying a couch and we agreed on $200 and then I get there and it has some rips or stains, I would either ask for less or decide I don't want it.
Sometimes, it might just be more appropriate to skip negotiating via email and wait to see the item. Maybe if the pictures are blurry and they can't send any better ones but you think it might be worth seeing because you're really interested. Or with an electronic item you'd want to test first. Or with a used car.
5. Less is More.
Remember, you're on the internet. People are weird. They don't need your life story, your social security number, your last name, or your home address. Stick the facts, but don't be cold or rude.
6. Go with a friend.
I almost never go alone to pick something up unless it's at a public location. A recent exception would be buying a stroller actually. I found the double I wanted at a great price, exchanged several emails with the lady, and texted back and forth about her address. We agreed upon a time for me to pick it up and it had to be when it was just me and Addie. I knew from her address that she lived in a 2-flat on a busy street in a busy part of Boston. She met me outside on the sidewalk with the stroller ready. (I would never enter someone's house alone.) She showed me how to work it, offered to put it in the car for me since I am quite pregnant, and I paid her the money and we left. It was cordial, but not too friendly. And really, still in 'public' because we were outside in front of her apartment building.
And just for some motivation, here are some finds I've had on Craigslist:
this dresser was two tone black and brown; some scratches too;
$25 on craigslist. removed awkward feet, painted green (primer + 2 coats); replaced knobs
![]() |
| frame/ gallery wall details here |
I think we paid $100 for this desk and sold it for $150 when we were done using it for a year. the smokin' hot husband was free ;)
Paid $130 for the whole set; it was almost brand new; we used it for 2 years and brought it with us to Cambridge. No room in our apartment for this table. Sold the chairs for $50 and plan to use the table in the next place.
Bought this desk for $25. It came with a chair. Both were cream colored and fading; the upholstery on the chair was stained and torn blue velvet. I wish I had a better picture of the befores and afters. Painted all white, reupholstered chair, used for 1 1/2 years; sold for $100. Plus the lady who bought it paid me an additional $80 for a dresser we got for free and were selling. :)
this little basket retails for $50 as a co-sleeper. we borrowed one from a friend with Addie and it was super convenient for bouncing all around with baby. Since we weren't sure where we were going to live and we are sure we'll be traveling some this summer, I picked this one up for $10 on craigslist for baby #2. It'll probably just be her bed for the first few months. Made the sheet with a 1/2 yard of discounted fabric that cost $1.50. Plus $1 for the elastic, bought with coupon.
Phew. There you have it. I wish I had pictures of all the good finds I've come across on craigslist over the past couple years. But, maybe with this next place I'll remember to take pictures? (It's probably more likely that I'll be in a hazy-newborn-plus-17-month-old-we-just-moved-across-the-country-and-are-trying-to-find-a-dresser-and-living-out-of-boxes-eating-on-the-floor daze and won't take any pictures.)
So, do you use craigslist? Any great deals you've made? Did I miss anything? What works for you?
Posted by
Renee Cook
at
8:20 PM
WFMW no. 3 - buying on craigslist
2014-04-23T20:20:00-04:00
Renee Cook
craigslist|WFMW|
Comments
Labels:
craigslist,
WFMW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)






























