Women's Retreat (Part 1)

Last weekend, I went on a women’s retreat where the featured speaker was Dee Brestin, a Christian author who focuses on Bible studies for women.  She is the mother of lady in our small group.  Anyway, this retreat blessed me SO much and I wanted to share what I learned.  It’s a lot, so I’ll write it in two parts.  J  

The retreat’s focus was women’s friendships, based on Dee Brestin’s book The Friendships of Women, which I’d highly recommend to anyone!  Her writing and wisdom certainly apply to women of all ages.  She first outlined the unique ways men and women are wired.  Because of the way we (as women) are wired, we innately desire and seek out more intimate relationships with other women.  Men generally do not seek out intimate relationships with other men.  She pointed out, as a side note, that men who are perhaps more spiritually mature will often be able to name 1 or 2 other men with whom they feel comfortable sharing deep concerns – Jesus was close to others and he valued intimate relationships.  I agree with her – I always notice when a man seems to care deeply about the concerns of others because he sticks it out in our macho-man society and seems to represent Jesus a little more clearly.  Anyway, you can read the book if you want all the scientific details of how men and women are wired differently and the impact on our friendships.  Otherwise, take my word for it and let’s move on.  

Dee spent the majority of the morning session focusing on the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1).  Main principles:

-       Elizabeth was Mary’s mentor.  She gave the best definition of a mentor I’d ever heard (for which she credits someone else).  A mentor is like the car in front of you in a blizzard.  When you are driving in a blizzard and can’t see the street or road lines, you can follow the tail lights of the car in front of you to safety.  A mentor is someone who is going where you want to go and doing it well a few years ahead of you.  It is much wiser, she noted, to run to a mentor instead of a peer, who has no idea where to go next usually.

-       Mary went to Elizabeth’s house when Elizabeth was 6 months pregnant with John the Baptist and Mary had become supernaturally pregnant with the baby who would be the Messiah.  Imagine Mary on foot 70 miles to see Elizabeth.  Might she be thinking did that really happen?  Did an angel just tell me I’d be pregnant?  When Mary arrived at Elizabeth’s house, before Mary could say anything, Elizabeth began prophecying over Mary.  How encouraging to Mary!  In an age of technology, it hadn’t really occurred to me that Elizabeth wouldn’t have known about Mary except by the Holy Spirit.

-       Elizabeth affirmed Mary’s faith and character – “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.”  These are the types of affirmations we, as Christian women, need to give to our friends. 

-       Mary knew scripture, evident in her famous Magnificat where she quotes 4 different Psalms.  Even as a young teenager, she had the psalms etched into her heart, so that as she prayed, the verses poured out.  Jesus said “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”  What if the Word of God was overflowing in our hearts so much that it came out all the time?  Dee quoted Bonheuffer (a young pastor who stood up to Hitler which eventually cost him his life – about which there is a new biography) who said, “It is a dangerous error among Christians to think the soul can pray by itself.”  Wow.  Convicting.  There is immense power when one prays God’s Word to Him.  Lord, this is what you promised and I believe it.  That is how I should be praying.

To be continued...

- Ren

Alsie

Elsie (Ben's sister) came up with the idea to refer to Ben and I as "renben" because this nickname simplifies things for when she is talking about both of us because it takes out the "and" from ren and ben.  I mean, the girl is a genius ;)  So, Ben has, in turn, decided to call Elsie and Alex "Alsie."

So, Alsie came to visit last weekend.  We had a lovely time together.  They recently got engaged and have set the date for their wedding as May 28th.  We are SO excited for them and had a wonderful time with our newly engaged family :)  They are both applying to law school at the University of Chicago (among others), so Ben and I made it our mission to persuade them into coming to Chicago!! (Ok ok, we'll let God take care of it.  But we're praying for them to come here if it's HIS will.  And we're praying for our will to align with his will.  Note: different from praying for his will to align with our will.  I've done that. Bad plan.)

Here are some pictures from our visit.  They are a few highlights, but most of all we just love spending time with one of our favorite couples and we loved celebrating their new engagement.

Enjoying dinner at Medici's - a local restaurant

Fun first night dinner (although we give the restaurant a B or lower...)

Taking turns with pictures in front of the pretty pumpkin garden.

Neither of us has had a sister before! :) woohoo!

Last picture with the same background, I promise :)

Grilling out near the lake

Using our amazing grill tools (wedding gift) for the first time on the worlds' smallest grill.  Not sure what that tool is for?

Intense game of super scrabble

I guess it's not going so well for Alex...

Elsie was probably winning super scrabble.. she's a pro

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We love the Italian Beef at Ben's new favorite restaurant - Portillo's

Bowling lane in hyde park where you keep your own score.  Proud to say that team BenRen won ;)

Proud that everyone's burgers AND buns fit on the tiny grill!!

Ben, Alex, and Elsie also went to visit some of the sites at the University of Chicago.  They loved the campus - hopefully they'll love it so much they'll come back for 3 ish years to study. 

Thanks for visiting, Alex and Elsie!  We loved having you :)

-Ren & Ben

Weekend with the Cook Boys

Ben's brothers, David (10) and Will (8) came to visit last weekend.  We had been planning for them to fly out from Nebraska alone until my mother in-law discovered it was the same cost to fly the boys out as unaccompanied minors as it would be for she and her husband to just fly out and spend the weekend out here too.  The boys stayed with Ben and I while Chris and Paul stayed downtown- a rare weekend "away" since they have 2 little ones still :)

Our weekend was definitely fun filled and eventful.  Friday night, we went to the Sox Game.  $3.00 tickets from Stubhub in the nose bleed section + nachos + curly fries + hot dogs = fun night despite the pathetic loss.

David was really into the game! (okay, it was staged)

Stadium in the background- all in all, a great night

Will got the best curly fry all night! tasty ;)

After the Sox game, we went back to our apartment where a desperately tired Renee went to bed... needless to say, the boys did not.  I'm pretty sure they played Wii with Ben untill 1 or 2 in the morning, which probably explains everybody's tiredness the next day.  Saturday (10-2-10... our original wedding day) was freezing and rainy in the city, but we still had a great time.  We went to the Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower- which I had never done before even though I've lived near this city my whole life)! What a fun adventure...

The new glass additions are scary and amazing!

Floating over the city :)

We introduced the boys to Portillo's (Ben declared after his first visit "it's my favorite restaurant") - David and Ben went to Navy Pier to try mini golf (Will and I wimped out- too cold) and had to skip it because of the torrential downpour and wind.  We had a cozy night at home with pizza and Wii... what's not to love!?

The next day, we met Ben's parents at Moody for church and then went to Rainforest Cafe. 

Waiting for the train

Funny statue inside the Merchandise Mart

All of us at lunch

All in all, it was a great weekend.  We love our family.  My family is mostly here in the Chicago area... Would we love to have everybody in one place? Of course!  (For those of you whose families are all in one spot- what a blessing!)  But we are so glad to be able to host visitors and we're thankful we can travel back and forth frequently.   It makes the family-in-multiple-states thing work.

Well, thanks for reading :) For now- it's back to enjoying my day off work.  Agenda: clean, lesson plan, lunch with Ben, read, rest and relax.  (Maybe I'll even get crazy and write another blog post.) 

:) Ren

October 2, 2010...

... for those of you who received a save-the-date to our wedding, you may or may not remember that 10-2-10 was our original wedding date.  That's yesterday.  A couple thoughts about 10-2-10 and why that date will always remind me how great God is.

1. If you were outside near Chicago yesterday, you know that the weather was horrible- raining, freezing.  We were having a sibling weekend with Ben's little brothers and walking all around the city in the freezing rain.  Let's just say I'm glad we weren't walking from the church to the restaurant we had booked in that weather yesterday.

2. I have officially been teaching for a month and going to school to work for about 2.  I cannot IMAGINE doing this commute (to 87th street off of I-94) all the way from my parents house in Mount Prospect.  Even more than that, I can't imagine this past month of school happening successfully while in the last month stage of wedding planning. 

3. Ben and I spent our first month of marriage with wonderful family in Omaha which would not have occurred if we hadn't have gotten married until yesterday.

4. By the grace of God (and with a little bit of gracious, kind persistence from my dad), the original restaurant we booked returned our partial deposit, although the contract did not permit this.

5. I am sitting next to my husband of 3 months enjoying a quiet Sunday night of football in our first home. 

Life is good.  God is good.  He made it possible for us to get married in July 3 instead of October 2 because He knew that would be best for us.  Back in March, after we had planned many many details for the Oct. 2 wedding, we decided to move up the date.  Many people thought we were nuts (although we appreciate the continued support of our closest friends and family.)  I think most people figured we were just anxious to get married (which was partially true... okay, very true, but not the only reason for moving the date) or pregnant (obviously false).  But, we had a clear peace from God about moving the date, so we went forward with it.  In retrospect, moving the date was absolutely the right choice.  Advice: listen to the Lord even if a lot of people around you think you're nutso.  He always knows best.

I'm happy to sign off tonight as a married woman of 3 months and not 1 day :)

-Ren  

Becoming a Living Sacrifice

The past couple posts have been about school/ work but I'm going to take it in a different direction tonight.  Last year, I was living in Mount Prospect and working in the city.  With traffic, I had about an hour drive each way give or take a few... this commute gave me built in alone time with the Lord every day! before AND after my work day :) I would crank up the gospel tunes (picture me jamming by myself in rush hour traffic even though everyone around you looks angry and tired in their cars... hmmm)   anyway, I would also have the luxury of plenty of time to listen to good sermons.  Well now that my commute is only 15-20 minutes, it takes me a few trips to get through a sermon.  This past week I have listened to a sermon titled "becoming a living sacrifice" based on Romans 12:1-2.  The pastor taught that we all have a destiny to be fulfilled in Christ.  So many people wander through life thinking "what am I here for?"  Even as a Christian, I have often questioned why this season?  what comes next?  what am I supposed to do anyway? what's my purpose?  Through many past situations, God has faithfully reminded me- "I am the potter, you are the clay... let your light shine before men... you have Christ in you... I have a plan for you.... follow me."  The pastor explained that our first step to "fulfilling our destiny" is becoming a living sacrifice.  He said that God loves us too much to give us more than we can handle.  When God gives us a dream/ vision or desire for something, that might be a long haul thing and we need preparation before.  We have to be tested and strengthened and we have to become a living sacrifice.  It led me to think about some of the Bible "greats..."  Moses- long time in the desert before leading the Israelites.  David- even after God anointed him king, it was several years before he became king.  Joseph- had visions of his family bowing down but ended up in prison and as a servant.  Even after he gained power under pharaoh, it was still years before his brothers came to him.  Paul spent 3 years prepping.  (The pastor also noted that we so often think we're ready before God thinks we're ready... hmm)  In addressing ministry specifically, he said we make ministry so complicated sometimes.  Think about it- the uneducated apostles evangelized the known world within a matter of a few decades... and they didn't have any of the communication or technology we have now.  That's a lot of round about discussion all to say a couple things:
1. Thank God for his grace and desire to have a relationship with me :) He WANTS to communicate with me and teach me.  He is a personal God!
2. I need to become a living sacrifice by renewing my mind with the word... repeatedly... constantly. 
3.  It's okay to have a preparation phase.  To not have it all figured out.  To wait on the Lord and do his will where I am right now. every day.

What has God been teaching you personally lately? 
-Ren

Highlights

Occasionally, I give the students a few minutes to work on a written activity.  One time, as I went around the room, I noticed one girl copying another girl's answers.  (Side note- girl 1 is copying girl 2 and girl 2 supposedly has an IEP for a learning disability, but in my class she's a genius so... I'm pretty sure they should evaluate girl 1.  Anyway, what do I know.)  I walked over and calmly told girl 1 "Dasha, I'd rather you try it yourself and get it wrong than copy hers because you won't learn it this way."
Dasha: "She's helping me."  (Girl 2 hasn't said a word.)
Me:  Why don't you ask her to explain it to you?
Dasha (screaming and frazzled): "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT OKAY JUST MOVE OUT LET ME KNOW FIGURE IT AND HER HELP ME."
Me (thinking): Maybe she won't be crazy tomorrow.

  
I have 10 or so male students that tower over me.  Tower.  The tallest is 6' 8" ... seriously.  One time, we were playing jeopardy, and I saw his hand go up first so I called on him.  A kid from the other team yelled, "That aint fair- he got a 20 foot wingspan."  - I always giggle inside when one of these guys quietly answers a questions "yes, ma'am." Sweet.


Kyle: "Mrs. Cook, how old were you when you got married?"
Me: "22."
Britanya: "Seriously? Girl, she say she 22 when she got married"  (not sure who she was talkin' to)
Me: yep.
Kyle: "Do you have a kid?"
Me: nope
Britanya: She aint no baby momma but i thought you was at first
Kyle: "oh, i just never heard of no one gettin married at 22 without a baby."


Brianna: "Miss Cook, I just gotta tell you I was wit this guy and he wasn't my boyfriend but now he is and we going out to dinner and i just wanted to tell you."  Melts your heart.  I love teenagers!  
Me: "Have fun.  Be safe.  I still get excited when my husband asks me out on dates."
Brianna (in that indescribable high school girl tone):aawwwww

Drama, Eye Rolls, and Sarcasm Oh My...

Well, it's been a few weeks since I've posted on the blog.  Anyone who reads this probably knows that I have started a new job teaching choir at Simeon Career Academy (SCA), a high school on the south side of Chicago.  I will try to start posting more regularly.  So, I'm not really sure how to give a good overview of what the first few weeks of school have been like, except to say that you can expect random thoughts and run-on sentences.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Simeon is, as the school's name says, a career academy, meaning it has a career and technical education program.  The kids choose a "major" sophomore year and spend most of their extra course work time in classes centered around that major.  (Remember in high school, how you had 1 elective freshman year and increasingly more electives every year...? They use those electives for their major classes so that most of their electives outside the regular state requirements are centered around their focus.)  Anyway, they have a lot of programs- from machine shop and welding to cosmetology to accounting to culinary arts.  (The cosmetology rooms are pretty cool!)  There are several "career academies" in Chicago Public Schools.  Hmm what else? The school is 99.9% African American and .1% Hispanic.  (I have 1 hispanic student, out of 220 total.)  The students apply and are hand picked by the administration.  (Although, it's not competitive like the top magnet high schools.)  The kids can come from all over the city, although most live on the south side.  The administration is relatively new- it's the current principal's 2nd year.  I really have enjoyed working with him so far, and the assistant principal is fabulous!  They seem to be making a lot of great changes in the school.  From what I hear, things are much more calm and focused this year.  In years past, there would be students roaming around, fights breaking out more often, etc..

I really like the students.  On the whole, the kids are nice.  Of course, they have their moments, but don't we all.  They also have a lot of questions - Mrs. Cook, are you married?  Mrs. Cook, how old are you?  Mrs. Cook, why we gotta sing this sh**? Mrs. Cook, you fine.  Mrs. Cook, how it be?  Mrs. Cook, do you listen to Drake?  Mrs. Cook, where you come from?  Mrs. Cook, we gonna sing any gospel? Mrs. Cook, can you sing?

But now that we've been in school for more than 2 days, there's a lot of dramatic sighs and eye rolls.  I know I sound like an old fogie, but the need to be constantly entertained is getting irritating.  "Why we gotta do this?"  "I'm bored."  "I don't like this."  Um, okay, well why don't you drop out and see if they'll let you work at mcdonald's forever... or you could suck it up for 7 hours a day (including 1 hour total of passing time, lunch, gym, etc...) and learn something.  I don't ever say things like that to students (I used to hate when teachers would).  Usually I just smile and say "try your best" or just ignore it and pretend to be oblivious.  But, let's be honest.  I knew everything in high school too. And I knew I didn't need any of that useless information.  Then I got to college and realized maybe I don't know everything.  Then I graduated and realized WOW I have a LOT to learn... so in the mean time, I'll think of my little know-it-all-eye-rolling-attitude-14-year-old-freshmen-self and cut them some slack :)

Cell phones. Ok. They did not cover this in college and I underestimated the cell phone battle.  The school's cell phone policy (which is EXTREMELY strict.. and necessarily so) is that students should not be using their phone during their instructional day, including passing periods and lunch.  Now, some teachers are like police on this- almost looking for kids to bust for phones.  I don't really pay attention in the halls - waste of time and energy.  Anyway, 1st offense... guess what the consequence is???  drumroll....

taken away and turned into the main office where the parents can pick it up between 3:30 and 6 on FRIDAY of that week.  Extreme as that is, they're serious.  So, why any kid would use their phone during school on Monday is beyond me.  (oh, and if they refuse to give it up, automatic out of school suspension for 2 days + parent conference.) woah.  Funny story. okay, 2 funny stories.  (1.) I received a note that a student I have was suspended out of school for 10 days.  She had been pretty quiet thus far in my class, and turned in her work.  Seemed smart enough. So, I was SHOCKED when I got this paper in my mailbox.  The principal was in the room so I asked him what happened.  He told me, "Shavonne got her phone taken away.  She came in at the end of the day and said she needed to look up her doctor's number so she could cancel her appointment since she was waiting for her mom to pick up the phone.  When she was given the phone, she took it and bolted out of the building.  She kept going even when security and the in school police officer tried to chase her and yelled to stop."  hahahahaha now, that is ridiculous.  (2.) When a lady heard her daughter's phone got taken away, she left work, came to the building and cussed out the principal (without an appointment...) then, when she was asked to leave by the police (the school has a couple police officers assigned to it), she called 911 (who said- uh, ma'am there are police in your area....) then she called the district office downtown... oh man.  she came 3 days in a row trying to get her kid's phone, constantly yelling at the principal calling him a M*F*.  That day, she pulled her kid out of class, and withdrew her from the school- transferring her elsewhere.  over a cell phone.  amazing.

okay, this has to be the end for now.  this has gotten way too long.  more posts to come (shorter posts) in the near future.

-Ren